


Falling apart

by wertdifferenz



Series: Falling apart [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt, M/M, Mostly freeform, POV Lance (Voltron), POV Shiro (Voltron), Post Season 6, a lot of crying, some canon divergence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-06-15 13:48:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 30,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15414294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wertdifferenz/pseuds/wertdifferenz
Summary: On their way back to earth Shiro starts pressing Lance for answers the brunet can't give him. It's only a matter of time before one of them breaks.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Writes 4k Shadamance fanfiction without any Adam. 
> 
> I read "When I see you" by Confused-Bird and immidiately fell in love with this ship.  
> This is only half-betaed because I wrote four days on this and can't look at it anymore. (Also I'm on holiday right now and I want to go out and explore.)
> 
> If you see any mistakes please let me know so I can correct them.

Their current position is really hard to describe, even with how much Pidge tried to explain him after his constant nagging. Lance has given up trying to understand spaces geography. It’s hard to remember places or even directions when you don’t recognize any of the stars around you. 

They had landed the lions on one of the moons of the biggest planet of the Ghorlian galaxy. It’s more or less a big ball of green rock; uninhibited and the safest place in this part of the universe. Well, at least safe enough for the group to rest for a few hours, maybe half a day before continuing their travel.

Earth is still far, far away. More a dream than a real destination their heading to, at least Lance feels that way. He still can’t wrap his head around the thought of finally getting home. He doesn’t know how long they’ve been in space, time is weird if you don’t have the normal day-night-circle to be at least able to count days. 

He would love to check if his phone has continued counting the hours and days after they left earth, but he had turned it off after the first night in the castle, too afraid that the battery would die completely, and he would lose the last thing connecting him to home. Even at his worst times Lance had managed to go without looking at the photos of his family back on earth, of his friends and his…

He sighs. Point is, even if he likes to play with it in his hands, he is not going to turn on his phone. Especially not when he has some of his family right in front of him. 

“Lance?”

He scrambles to hide the small device in the armrest of his chair before Shiro enters Red’s cockpit. The little hatch closes just in time. Lance quickly jumps up to greet Shiro with a smile.

“Hey, Shiro! What’s up?”

Shiro doesn’t seem to notice his small panic. “I came to get you for lunch. Or is it dinnertime already?”

Lance chuckles, grabbing his helmet to follow the older outside. If they’re not on a planet with breathable air, they usually gather in Black to eat at least one meal together every second or third day. Even if the group is connected on their com’s all the time, being together and feeling a presence next to you is something they all carve after a while, some (Lance) more than others. 

Lance tries to look at Shiro from the side. Even through the visor of his helmet Lance can see the dark circles under his eyes. Nightmares are an almost daily, or nightly, companion of his leader. Shiro hasn’t talked about them to anyone, but Lance knows him well enough to see right through the façade he tries to maintain. “It’s probably breakfast for you, right?”

Spotting the façade and talking about it are two different things though.

Shiro smiles at him. “Yeah. That means it’s your dinner, isn’t it?”

“More like a midnight snack, but I don’t say ‘no’ to some downtime with the group before catching up on some sleep.” They walk the rest of the way in silence, preferring to concentrate on the weird gravity of the moon. It feels like it’s changing with every step they take, and it’s easy to fall if you don’t watch out. 

Lance makes sure to keep an eye on Shiro. Even if the older man doesn’t want to show it, the whole process of downloading his soul from the Black lion into his clone’s body has taken a toll on him, as well as the lack of proper rest from traveling and nightmares, and the constant check up’s in the cryo-pod as soon as someone (Lance) had casually asked if Haggar improved the clones, erasing any possible imperfections or diseases. 

Everyone had looked at him in confusion, this was a weird thing to ask after all, even for Lance. The only thing that saved him from any mocking or unanswerable questions was Shiro’s quiet cursing, followed by a confession that his original body was in fact sick, and that they should probably check out if the witch had done at least something right.

The look on Shiro’s face after finding out that this body had no disease had probably been the best thing Lance had ever seen in his life. At least Lance had hardly ever felt this happy before. 

Ever the gentlemen, Shiro lets Lance enter the Black lion first, walking straight behind him due to the small space through the mouth and up to the cockpit. The group is already half through their food portions, chatting while eating the prepackaged food-goo in all kinds of colors. Shiro and Lance take up the last place on the floor, grabbing a pack from the pile in the middle as well as some water packs. 

The conversations are easy, going from planning useful and useless but still important additions to the castle of lion and the weird gravity of the moon in together of the sickly green color of the surface to the inhabitants of nearly planets and, like almost every time, their own planet. About the food they are going to eat and the things they are going to do and most importantly, the people they all yearn to see. 

It’s no surprise that Pidge will, no matter what, grab Matt and gather her mom and dad in a long overdue family hug. Hunk already knows that he’ll be a crying mess as soon as he hears his mother’s voices again. Keith usually stays quite during these talks, since his whole family is gathered in his cockpit anyway. 

Lance always contribute by mentioning his family, hoping to see his parents and siblings as soon as possible. He doesn’t mention anyone else, partly because he’s to afraid to accidentally slip up, partly because Hunk will mention this girl Jenny somewhat, claiming that Lance is still madly in love with her either to tease or provoke a reaction out of him. 

It usually ends with other topics, shows they’ve missed and movies that hopefully have a sequel now, prototypes of electronic whatnots Hunk and Pidge want to see in person or simply trying to explain the “strange earth things” they are talking about to Allura, Coran, Romelle, Krolia and sometimes even Keith.

* * *

The crater they are overlooking is beautiful in its own way. Rainbow-colored stone with a huge pile of pitch black sand in the middle and white plants surrounding everything. Lance watches the scenery with a bittersweet smile. He takes a picture with the tablet-thingy Pidge had pieced together for all of them, hoping that Shiro won’t ask him why he’s taking it, or even worse who he will show it too. 

His family, Lance would answer then. It’s only a half-lie, his parents and siblings are probably not interested in all this space stuff, but another person he considers family might be. 

Lance is on Shiro-duty right now. Keith is still overprotective of his brother, so he decided that if Shiro wants to explore the planets they land on, he has to take someone with him. It’s usually Keith he asks. Shiro is still reluctant to depend on the rest of them too much. 

It makes him even happier that Shiro asked if he wanted to join him today. Even though Lance spends half of the time reminding himself not to slip up, not to talk about the past or touch him in a too familiar way, he still enjoys the few hours they spend together. 

After Lance has stored the tablet in the pocket of his jacket again, he joins Shiro on the white trunk he’s sitting on. They look at the crater a bit more before the silence gets a bit too uncomfortable. Lance is racking his brain for something to talk about, but Shiro beats him to it.

“Did you see someone at the Garrison?”

Lance hasn’t expected this question. At all. “W-what?”

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just…” Shiro scratches his neck, still staring at the crater in front of him. He looks sheepish, as if the question embarrasses him, but not enough to not ask anyway. “Hunk keeps mentioning this Jenny, so I was curious if she was your girlfriend back on Earth.”

Of all the things that this talk is (awkward, paradox, almost impossible, most certainly unbelievable, hurtful, sad, depressing and ironical), the only word that Lance can think of is ‘weird’. 

So, on a weirdness-scale from one to ten, one being that planet some aliens were convinced Coran and Lance were brothers and ten being that time they travelled to an alternate dimension to meet Shiro’s Swedish doppelganger who took a bullet for Lance in the end, this conversation was a solid thirteen. 

Lance sighs and rubs his eyes. This isn’t even a laughing-or-crying-matter anymore. This bullshit the universe is pulling on him is just straight up… bullshit. He’s at a lack of words for the stuff he is putting up with. 

He doesn’t want to lie to Shiro of all people. Lance sick of lying or trying to think of some half-truths so his conscience is a bit quieter at night. But he can’t tell him the full truth either. Lance knows the look on Shiro’s face; it isn’t the first time he’s looking at him like this, not the first time he’s asking a question like this. “She isn’t my girlfriend, Shiro.”

“Oh, okay.” The happiness in his voice is hard to miss, encouraging Lance to share a bit more information from the past.

“To be honest, she isn’t even a real person.”

“What?” Shiro’s confused face is way too cute, Lance has to clench his fists to not grab his cheeks and squeeze them. He tilts his head after a while of thinking, still puzzled from Lance’s answer. “I don’t understand.”

“You know how Hunk can’t keep a secret to himself, even if his life depends on it?” The amused huff Lance gets is enough confirmation. “We were roommates back at the Garrison, and I used to sneak out a lot. Hunk got curious where I was going all the time, so…”

“So, you made up a name, making him believe you were seeing a girl.”

“Exactly. I felt bad for lying at him, but it seems to backfire now with how much he tries to tease me with that name. It’s more annoying than embarrassing though.”

“So, if not for a girl, why did you sneak out so often?”

“Well, wouldn’t you like to know?” Lance grins, but the smile doesn’t reach his eyes. The question hurts more than anything else, but the answer is not something Lance can easily share with Shiro, even if he dying to tell the other. 

Telling him could trigger memories from his past, memories of the arena and the fights, the enslavement and the experiments. And pain. Not memories of it, but real pain. Agonizing, burning pain that stings through his body and will put Shiro right back into a healing pod. 

How Lance knows that? By experience. 

His eyes swift back to the crater. Lance remains silent.

* * *

Xill is a planet filled with an atmosphere they can breathe in. It’s not quite oxygen, but Coran claims it’s not harmful and the prospect of finally feeling something else then the stale and uncomfortable warm air on his face makes Lance ditch his helmet as soon as the older gives them the go. 

The planet doesn’t have any inhabitants anymore. Coran explained before landing here that the planet ran through some kind of climate change, and since the native’s bodies were not able to withstand the temperature raise, they either left the planet or died out. 

Lance really wonders what the natives looked like, if they were some kind of ice species or had a lot of fur to keep themselves warm, because the temperature is really pleasant to him and not too hot. It feels more like a nice spring day than a “we-have-to-ditch-this-planet-because-it-is-too-hot-heat”.

Like always the group has landed the lion’s in a circle. Lance watches Shiro leave the Green Lion. He’s riding with Pidge right now to get a change in scenery and get out of Black for a while. The cockpits of each lion are mostly the same size, and being stuck with Keith, his mom and a big space wolf must be uncomfortable after a while. Since Lance still has Kaltenecker in his Lion and Romelle and Coran are usually with Allura in Blue, the only two Lion Shiro can flee to are Yellow and Green. 

Shiro gives Pidge one of his soft smiles, meaning they probably talked about Matt or Sam. Shiro is the only one Pidge really opened up to, even after she found both of them she prefers keeping the emotional talk between their leader and her. Lance wonders if Shiro is also opening up to her, about his loved ones back on earth. The thought makes his heart ache a little. 

The group gathers in front of the Black Lion. Since they can stay outside their lions, they decide to take the chance and set up a camp. Keith and Krolia go out to gather something they can use to make a bonfire while the rest of the team sets up some makeshifts tents and the beds for the night. 

Lance also takes the chance to get Kaltenecker out of Red for a while. The cow seems happy to feel some real earth underneath her hooves and leaves Lance to explore the surrounding meadow after receiving a few encouraging pats on her back. 

He tries to keep an eye on Kaltenecker while grabbing his stuff from his lion, so he doesn’t see Shiro approaching him until he’s literally standing right behind him. Shiro grabs half of the pillows Lance is carrying (he is a hoarder) in his hand and walks with him to the camp. It’s only on their way back to the lion when Shiro speaks up. 

“I’m still trying to figure out why you sneaked out so often,” he says almost casually. “There wasn’t really something worth sneaking to near the Garrison.”

Lance averts his eyes trying to think of an acceptable answer. “The desert is pretty at night, Shiro.”

Shiro hums. “It is, but you hate any kind of insect, so I’m sure you didn’t go there.” He stops in the middle of Red’s muzzle to look at the brunet. “Where did you go, Lance?”

The simple question somehow hurts. Lance winces at the thought that Shiro should know the answer but doesn’t, that he wants to know but can’t. He looks up to see into Shiro’s eyes, and for a moment he sees something desperate in them. “Shiro, why do you want to know that?”

“I… I feel like… like it’s important.” This time it’s Shiro who averts his eyes, the confusion visible in his face. He rakes his fingers through his white hair, a clear sign of an approaching headache. Even this simple question, a sliver of curiosity seems to hurt the other. Lance can’t tell him the truth.

Lance approaches him slowly until he’s only a step away. He wants to gather Shiro in a hug but decides against it. He lowers his voice to not worsen the headache instead. “Are you still having these nightmares?”

Shiro shakes his head, not to respond but to clear his head a little. When he looks up to Lance again, the pain seems to be gone again. “Sometimes, yeah. But they don’t feel like nightmares anymore.”

Lance takes a step back to leave him some space to breath. “What do they feel like now?”

“More like… memories?” he says. Lance doesn’t answer him, so Shiro continues. “It’s only snippets, sometimes just blurry images, words or feelings. I think they are from back at the Garrison.”

“Before you left for Kerberos,” Lance states. 

Shiro nods. “I remember my boyfriend, we are engaged. Well, we were engaged. I remember that we fought because of the mission and broke up because I was too selfish, too greedy. He…” Shiro sighs. “He must hate me now.”

“He doesn’t.” The conviction in Lance’s voice makes Shiro look up. Lance musters him with kind eyes. He knows he shouldn’t, but this is needed. “He still loves you, Shiro.”

Shiro looks like he wants to believe him. “How can you be so sure?”

Lance turns away to hide his face. He takes a breath to steady his voice before speaking again. “I know Adam. And I know you. I just know that,” Lance sighs. “Okay?”

“Okay.” Shiro doesn’t press on for now.

* * *

“How do you know Adam in the first place?”

Lance can see Keith’s head shoot up next to him, but he ignores the raven’s suspicious look in order to answer Shiro. “He was one of my flight instructors in my cargo pilot classes,” Lance answers honestly. “He also helped me understand all the technical jargon from the textbooks from time to time. I had still problems with English back then.”

“Oh, I remember him too,” Hunk chimes in. “He was a pretty great teacher.”

Shiro smiles at him, seemingly glad of the positive response. He lets Hunk reminisce about the time back at the Garrison, talking about classes with Adam and all the other teachers, about the flight simulations he failed because of his weak stomach and about his time with Lance and Pidge later on. 

The brunet interrupts him from time to time to add a few things to the story or correct Hunk in some parts. Pidge is focused on tinkering on a new gadget but even she adds her opinion in some parts. The stories take up the whole evening but after a while switch from the trio to Coran’s schooldays which are equally funny. 

When Pidge and Romelle almost fall asleep while talking the group calls it a night. They gather their blankets and pillows on the mats they laid around the fire and one after another slowly fall asleep. Keith and Shiro stay up a bit longer to make sure the fire burns before going to bed themselves. 

Its been a while since they camped outside, maybe that’s why Lance has trouble falling asleep, maybe it’s because he slept only a few hours ago. Anyway, he stays still to not disturb the others and calm himself down a bit. He is still wide awake, laying on his side to look at the horizon behind Red when he hears someone quietly shuffle out of the makeshift beds, stand up and walk away. 

Lance sits up to see Shiro wander off from the camp. With a quick look to his right he sees Keith and his mom awake too, their Galra-genes making them stay alert all the time, even at night. Keith shares a look with Lance and grimaces down to the sleeping wolf on his lap, making it clear that one of the two has to go after their leader, and it’s going to be Lance.

With a quiet huff Lance gets up and follows Shiro to the little stream near their camp. He finds the other sitting on a flat rock, enjoying the rushing of the river and the sight of the two moons in the black sky. He doesn’t seem surprised to be followed. Keith’s order not to leave him wander off alone is still present in all of their heads. 

He does seem surprised that it’s Lance who joins though. “I thought you were sleeping?”

Lance smiles. “Had troubles falling asleep. It’s been a while since I slept outside.” He leans back on his hands to look at the sky. The two moons are pretty weird, both more oval than round and the smaller one orbiting the other. 

The silence between them speaks volumes. Lance thinks about talking about something, anything to keep Shiro from asking more questions, but it’s also kind of inevitable that they talk about the elephant in the room. Lance just wishes he knew how to talk about it without hurting the other. 

“How do you know Adam so well?”

“He was my tutor,” Lance tries.

The older lets out a frustrated sigh. “I know that much, but this doesn’t explain anything.”

“Shiro…” 

“Please, Lance,” he begs. 

Lance sighs. There is really no way around it. Lance takes his time, trying to think of something that gives Shiro enough to answer his questions, but not enough to fuel his headaches. “Adam tutored me while I was a cargo pilot, and even continued after I moved on to fighter class. That was after-“

“After Keith flunked out of the Garrison because the Kerberos mission failed.”

“…yeah.”

Shiro looks pained, but not from a headache. “Did he… how did he take it after…?”

“He was devastated,” Lance answers honestly. “We all were. He locked himself in his office for a while, tried to keep his mind occupied with work.”

“But he still tutored you.”

“Yeah, but it was more talking that tutoring. We both had a lot to talk about.”

Shiro stays quiet for a while, processing the new information. Neither Keith, Hunk or Pidge had any real connection with Adam, so this is the first time hearing something about his fiancé since the start of the Kerberos mission. And even if it is somewhat sad, it is still better than nothing. 

His fingers rake through his hair again. “Thank you, Lance.”

Lance huffs. “What for?”

“For being there for Adam. And for telling me.” He takes a deep breath to steady himself, then turns around to look at Lance. “Can you answer me a few more questions?”

“Shiro, I-“

“I know,” he interrupts. “I know you don’t want to hurt me, and I can see that these memories hurt you too. But I still want to know. I need to know, Lance. I-” His voice breaks, and he takes a deep breath. “I feel like I forgot something important. And I feel so empty without it.”

Lance doesn’t answer him, doesn’t even dare to take his eyes off the moons. Shiro doesn’t seem to be discouraged by his silence and presses on. “I remember Adam, but I think there is more. I remember bits and pieces of another person, and I remember the feelings I hold for this person are the same I hold for Adam, but I can’t remember his face, or even his name.” Another pause, another time Shiro rakes his fingers through his hair. His hand trembles with every move. 

“Lance, do you know-“ Shiro stops himself as he sees Lance’s face. 

He knows that he must look like shit, he is an ugly crier after all, but after all this time together in space, Shiro can clearly see that it’s not only sadness Lance is feeling, but despair, heartbreak and most of all helplessness. 

Neither of them knows what to do. Lance reminds himself over and over again that he can’t tell him, he knows exactly that the furrowed brows on Shiro’s face come from just another headache, probably the strongest he felt in a while, and his hand is pressed into a tight fist to hide the shaking. The pain in his grey eyes steel Lance’s resolution. 

Shiro tries to reach out to him, but it’s just too much. Too many emotions, too many thoughts, too much conflict inside him. Shiro’s hands wavers awkwardly in the air as Lance takes one step back, then a second and a third until he is far enough to turn around and run. 

As much as he tries to dry the tears on his face, they just keep flowing, more and more as Shiro shouts his name, begs him to wait, but Lance is too fast for him. The noise wakes up the others. Lance doesn’t give them the chance to stop him and ask what is happening, he just runs straight up to Red and thanks the lion silently as he closes his muzzle and lets Lance have a moment of privacy to break apart. 

He curls up in his chair as he cries, taking stuttering breaths every now and then, letting his tears fall free into his lap while all this pain from the last few months in space and years back on earth wash over him like strong ocean waves, pulling him deeper and deeper into the dark abyss until he has to stop his decay and focus on his breathing to not pass out from hyperventilation. 

Lance ignores the shouts from the outside. Shiro and Keith are standing in front of Red’s paw, pleading Lance and the lion at the same to open up. The rest of the group is close behind them, confusion and worry plastered on their faces, but Lance refuses acknowledge them or let anyone in until Red decides that it’s time to overrule him. 

He curls in an even tighter ball as Red lowers his head and opens his muzzle. Nothing happens for a while, Lance thinks the group is probably too stunned that something came out of their shouting to move. The crying doesn’t stop, even as he hears footsteps getting louder, even as he hears Shiro tentative call his name. 

Lance doesn’t look up as his leader leans against the control panel in front of him. Shiro sighs but doesn’t say anything. He’s probably at the same loss of words as Lance. 

After the sobbing stops and his breath is at bit calmer, Lance looks up to take in the picture of the man in front of him. Shiro looks as broken as Lance feels, sad and desperate and full of questions. 

Shiro stares back at him. His voice is nothing more than a whisper. “Is it you? Is that the reason I feel so safe with you, the reason my clone came to you when he felt something was wrong? Is that the reason why I feel the same about you and Adam?” Lance… are you…” He takes a shaky breath. “…are we…?”

The tears won’t stop flowing, especially after this question. Lance feels the last bit of his resolve wash away with the tears as he gives Shiro a single, tiny nod. 

“Oh, Lance.” The dam breaks, and Shiro can’t help but gather Lance in a hug, wrap his arm around his back and press his face into the soft, brown curls. “I’m so sorry. So, so sorry,” he whispers over and over into Lance’s hair while the brunet just clings to him and keeps on sobbing. 

Lance can feel how hard Shiro is shaking, not just from emotions, but from pain. But he can do nothing else than to hold onto his love and to cry. To cry for himself, to cry for Shiro, to cry for Adam too.

The shaking gets stronger, and over his own crying Lance can hear Shiro’s sobs too, can feel where the tears dampen his hair, can do nothing else than to support him as Shiro slowly sinks to the floor. Lance moves from his chair to go down with him, to wrap his own arms around Shiro’s back and head, to let the older rest his weight on Lance as his body can’t take the pain anymore and loses consciousness.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to fall back into place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost two and a half months later I am back with this 12k chapter. And I can't put my feelings into words, because I never thought I could write so much for this story, or about this ship, or in general. But here we are. 
> 
> I hope you don't cry, because I did, and I wish you much fun while reading it.  
> Thanks again for all the comments, I'm gonna take my time answering them now, but there were a huge motivation for me <3 And of course thanks for the patience, I know it's been a while since I updated this, but I got distracted with my James/Lance story.

“You are _what_?”

Lance winces as Pidge, Hunk and Keith scream these words in his face. He knows himself that it’s a hard pill to swallow, but the disbelieving looks on their faces simply hurt. Lance wrings his hands nervously. His eyes roam around the camp, trying to get at least some control over himself. He feels so drained after crying in Takashi’s arms but still knows the tears will come back any minute now. 

He takes a shaky breath. “I know it’s-“

“Hard to believe? Yeah,” Pidge interrupts.

“I mean, I don’t want to say you’re lying, dude, but this doesn’t really seem possible,” Hunk adds. His apologetic tone doesn’t really help though. 

“Really?” Lance huffs exasperatedly. “Flying in magical lions to fight an intergalactic space war against an evil alien race is our daily life, but me and Shiro being a thing back at the Garrison is just too hard to imagine?”

Hunk flinches at his words. “But, why did you never tell me?”

Lance sighs. “You remember that Jenny you thought I was into?” 

Hunk nods.

“I never even knew a Jenny but the whole school thought I was into her because you told literally anyone you knew.” Lance watches Hunk deflate slightly. He isn’t proud to pull that move on his friend, since it didn’t really hurt him back then anyway, but he doesn’t have any other explanation. “I never told you because we would have gotten thrown out of the Garrison if our relationship had been busted.”

“I never would have-“

“I know you never would have told anyone something important like that, but I couldn’t take any risks, Hunk.”

“Wait.” Keith has stayed quiet until now, arms crossed over his chest and a frown on his face while listening the other fight. When he speaks up, his voice is just as disbelieving as the others, maybe even more. “Shiro had a boyfriend at the Garrison. Are you saying that you and Adam…?”

Lance sighs again. He really doesn’t want to answer, because he knows that it will make the whole thing sound even more unbelievable, but he has to tell them the truth. “Yes, Adam and I are boyfriends too.”

“Dude.”

Pidge stops her pacing right in front of Lance, her outstretched finger pointing accusingly in his face. “You can’t expect us to believe that when you flirted with literal every alien chick we encountered,” she shouts. 

“Exactly! I don’t even think that Shiro or Adam would be into someone like-“ Keith stops himself, but the damage is already done. 

Lance can feel the hot sting of tears in his eyes, but he forces them down. He doesn’t want to let the others see how much it hurts to hear their doubt about his relationship. To hear them voice his own thoughts about Takashi’s feelings for the last few months. Back on earth Adam and Takashi always made sure that Lance never had doubts like this, even though they were a secret. But one boyfriend is billions of miles away, and the other doesn’t remember anything about him.

Hunk approaches him slowly. He puts a hand on Lance’s shoulder and turns him around to look at him. “It’s just so hard to believe. And we can’t ask Shiro because he doesn’t remember you…” His gesture is so comforting, but the words hurt even more like this.

“I know I-“

“Paladins!” Krolia stands at the mouth of the Black Lion. “Shiro is waking up.”

Hunk and Pidge are in the lion before Lance can even comprehend Krolia’s words. Seems like the conversation is over for now, and Lance is thankful for the breather. Even more thankful that Takashi’s fine. 

Keith passes him but stops when he notices that Lance isn’t moving from his spot. “You’re not coming?”

Lance huffs. “What’s the point?” He turns around to face Keith. The fake smile on his face must look as pained as he feels. “He doesn’t remember me. I’m the reason he’s in the pod in the first place.”

Keith stares at him, his face a mixture of confusion, pity and doubt. Lance realizes that talking to any of them, especially Takashi, would probably be too much right now. They all need some space for a while.

“I’m in Red if you need me.” With that he turns around to hide in his lion.

* * *

Coran and Krolia are helping him out of the pod when the others arrive. Pidge and Keith are immediately at his side, hugging him carefully to not wrestle him too much. The cryo-pod didn’t manage to get rid of his headache completely, but at least the rest of his body has stopped hurting, so he returns the hug with one arm. 

His brain is still a mess. Different thoughts and memories swamp his mind; maybe that’s why his head still hurts so much. He will need some time to organize all the new information. His talk with Lance has been quite a shock, to be honest, and he has trouble believing everything his teammate has revealed to him. It would be helpful if he could remember at least a tiny bit of his-… their past, but there’s nothing bud a void inside of his head where this information used to be stored. 

“How are you feeling?” Keith asks, making him turn away from his thoughts. 

“Better. My head still hurts though.” He runs his fingers through his hair. 

Coran comes closer and types something on the display of the pod. “It says you are all clear. You probably only need some water and a few hours of proper sleep. The pods tend to leave all of you with some headache from time to time. Lance experienced the same symptoms when he emerged from the cryopod.”

“Speaking of Lance…” Shiro looks around the room, but the mentioned Paladin is nowhere to be seen. “Where is he?” 

Pidge and Hunk look around too, only now realizing that he isn’t here with them.

“He is in Red,” Keith explains quickly. He looks to the door and back to Shiro, his mouth pulled into a frown. “I guess he wanted to leave you some space after everything.”

“Oh, okay.” Shiro takes his time to take in the various expressions of his team. Keith’s frown, Pidge’s fiddling with her glasses, Hunk’s awkward shuffling while trying to avoid any eye contact. He lets out a sigh. “He told you?”

Pidge huffs. “That you and him where dating? Yeah. But honestly, it’s seems just so unrealistic.”

Hunk finally meets his eyes, but the begging look isn’t any better. “Please don’t be mad. It’s just so hard to believe. And it’s not like you can confirm his story.”

Keith looks at both of them before turning back to Shiro. His face shows his own doubt about the whole situation. “Do you remember anything?” he asks quietly. 

Shiro shakes his head. “Not really. I remember Adam, and that there was someone else very close with us, but even after speaking to Lance I still can’t remember anything else.” He shrugs helplessly. 

Next to him, Coran coughs into his hand to get his attention. “Normally I would recommend talking about everything with Number 3, but-“ His eyes wander around the room, regarding every Paladin with a calculated look.

Keith jumps up, a distressed look on his face. “But talking to Lance has triggered so much pain Shiro had to spend time in the pod!”

“Keith-“ Shiro tries to interfere, but gets quickly interrupted. 

“No, Shiro. Keith is right,” Pidge says with a frown. “This talk, those memories. They hurt you.”

The following silence only confirms her words, and Shiro has no argument to counter with. Pidge is right, those memories have hurt him, and he’s sure it’s not the first time this has happened. Is that the reason Lance didn’t want to talk about all this? Is this the reason he kept silent for so long?

Coran places a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Considering what happened in the last few hours I recommend that you take it slow.” He looks towards Keith, expecting a decision from their leader. 

Keith sighs before speaking up. “We haven’t slept all night, and you need to rest too. Let’s stay on this planet for another day and we’ll head out tomorrow morning. Is that all right with everyone?” He receives a collective nod and turns towards the exit, signaling that the discussion is over, and everyone should go to bed. 

“I’ll inform Lance about the plan.” Coran looks at Shiro, his expression unreadable before he excuses himself. 

A faint headache still throbs behind his forehead, especially when Shiro tries to move. He gladly accepts the help of Allura and Krolia. They get him out of the uncomfortable pod and into one of the makeshift beds in the Black Lion and leave him alone soon after to let him rest. 

With an empty feeling in his chest Shiro falls into a fitful sleep.

* * *

The plain sight of black space gives him enough time to think about everything. There’s nothing here that could distract his brain from all of his current problems, no stars, no planets, and he turned off his coms, so no chatter either. 

It’s just him and his thoughts right now. Him and his depressing thoughts about the recent events. Lance hasn’t talked to Takashi since he’s woken up about a week ago. The rest of the team preferred to remain silent about the topic too, so the only one he exchanged a few sentences with was Coran when he informed him about the slightly extended stay on the planet. 

Lance is honestly at a loss right now. He doesn’t know what to do, or say, or even think about Takashi. It already hard enough that the team doesn’t believe him, but with the fleeting looks Takashi has send him before leaving the planet, Lance is sure that he doubts him as well. 

This is a nightmare, and the silence between them doesn’t help. Lance even had moments where he started to doubt his own story. What if the Galra managed to meddle with his brain when they fought? What if the two minutes he was dead turned his dreams into memories? What if he landed in an alternate universe without knowing, one where Takashi, Adam and him never got together?

These thoughts filled him with panic. The only thing that kept him out spiraling down completely was the phone that was still hidden in his armrest. And Red’s reassuring purring. 

Red and his connections isn’t as deep as the one Lance had with Blue, but it is still pretty stable. Just like Blue, Red has access to all of his thoughts, feelings and memories, and just like Blue, Red doesn’t hesitate to calm him down and make him feel valid. 

Lance pets Red’s console affectionately as the lion lets out another low rumble. It has done that all morning while keeping up a constant mental blanket around him. It’s warm and soft and makes Lance almost feel like he’s back home. 

After a while Lance turns on the coms again. He didn’t miss much; Pidge and Coran are still arguing about their current location while Hunk prepares some lunch and the rest of the team tries to ignore them. 

He can hear Takashi and Krolia talk about some new training sequences in the back of the Black Lion. Lance doesn’t have a visual; like the rest of the group he only turns the screens on when he’s fighting, or when he needs to see the face of his dialog partner. But since nobody’s talking to him right now…

Kosmo joins him after a few hours to bring him Hunk’s cooking. Most of the time Lance is the last one on the wolf’s delivery route, maybe because he always gets a lot of hugs and cuddles, maybe because Lance is the one flying closest to the Black Lion and Kosmo doesn’t have to use so much energy for teleporting back. 

Lance grabs the food from the bag on the wolfs back, thanks Hunk for the meal and pets Kosmo for a good five minutes before digging in, only to stop the hand with his food midair when Kosmo plops himself right on his feet instead of teleporting back to Keith.

“Uhm… okay?” He pets his head again, but Kosmo makes no move to get up, so Lance resigns and simply starts eating. He finishes his food quickly, shares some of the space bread with the wolf since it’s the only thing that’s safe to eat for him and puts his tray on the console on his side after he finishes. 

Kosmo is still at his feet, looking at him expectantly so Lance bends down and continues petting the wolf like before. Keith’s face pops up on the screen, surprise clear in his voice when he spots Kosmo on Lance’s feet. 

“Why is…?”

Lance looks up to him. “Dude, I don’t know. He brought me the food and just stayed here since then.”

Keith raises an eyebrow. “Did you feed him?”

“No?”

“Lance.”

He grimaces. “Only a piece of Hunk’s space-bread, nothing more. But he sat down before I fed him.” Lance keeps on petting Kosmo’s head before looking up with a teasing smirk. “Maybe he’s lonely again. Keith, did you cuddle him enough?”

Keith immediately takes the bait. “I give him enough of my attention!” he shouts exasperated. 

He grins at the screen. “Are you sure, because your wolf clearly prefers my company.”

Keith grumbles, but doesn’t say anything else. Lance gets back to petting the wolf, well aware of the staring from the people on Keith’s screen. Krolia and Takashi have stopped talking and are now watching Kosmo’s content face while he receives more ear scratches. 

After a while he flops down again, deciding that scratch-time is over for now, but instead of going back to Keith, Kosmo yawns, rests his head on his paws and dozes off. 

Lance looks at Keith and raises his eyebrows in question. Keith simply shrugs, accepting that his wolf won’t come back for a while and shuts off the screen. 

Kosmo shifts a bit to lay on his side, still burying Lance’s feet under his body and pinning his legs to his chair. There is no way he can get up without disturbing the sleeping wolf, but Lance doesn’t really mind. The weight is comforting, the soft breaths instead of the usual silence or Red’s occasional purrs a nice change for once. 

Red is on autopilot, so Lance leans back in his chair. The coms are still open, but the rest of the group is silent right now. Lance closes his eyes and indulges in the comfort and warmth of his two companions.

* * *

Seeing Lance cuddle with the wolf and tease Keith makes Shiro realize that he hasn’t really seen him smile since he woke up from the pod. Lance didn’t even look at him when he joined Krolia and Keith on the screen to watch Kosmo enjoy the affection. 

To say it feels strange to not receive any attention from Lance is an understatement. He never really ignored Shiro before, not to mention avoided him, but right now it feels like Lance tries not to acknowledge his presence at all. Maybe to give him some space or something, but still.

Considering what happened before, he can understand why Lance acts this way. Considering how Shiro has dealt with the situation, he probably made it even worse. That is if ‘dealing with the situation’ means ‘ignoring the problem’. Is this a problem? He doesn’t know. 

Shiro doesn’t even know how he feels about Lance. He knows he likes him, maybe even a bit more than the rest of the team, but is it enough for a relationship? They haven’t really spent much time together before Shiro… died, even less talked to each other about not-Voltron related stuff. The only time he can remember Lance and him spending time outside of a mission was when his clone came to Lance for help. 

Those few moments together aren’t really a steady base to develop feelings towards the other. Sure, he thinks Lance is pretty, and smart, and kind, and caring and maybe he does like him more than the rest of the team, but Shiro hardly knows anything about Lance besides that. 

And if Lance tells the truth, then he knows even more about him and Adam then Shiro himself, thanks to the memory loss. 

So, he doesn’t know what to think, doesn’t know where to start trying to tame the chaos, doesn’t know what to do to make Lance feel better, doesn’t know what his next step should be, and to make things worse, Keith doesn’t seem to be oblivious to his internal freak-out.

Shiro catches the silent conversation between him and his mother before Krolia leaves the cockpit to ‘catch up on some sleep’, and Keith turns off his coms so the rest of the team won’t hear their conversation.

After turning on Black’s autopilot, Keith gets up and walks around his chair towards the back of the cockpit where Shiro is leaning against the wall. He eyes him for a second before taking in a more relaxed stance.

“What are you going to do about it?” he asks, as direct as always.

Shiro shrugs. “I don’t know.” His eyes wander to the screen. They are in a galaxy where the stars look like someone went outside and scattered sapphires across a black canvas. Something in this part of the universe interferes with their coordination systems, so Coran and Pidge are using the biggest star as a guide, while Shiro uses it to compare the color of Lance’s eyes. 

Keith sigh draws his attention back on the talk. Shiro watches him rake his fingers through his long hair, detangle some knots before meeting his eyes again. 

“You still don’t remember anything?”

Shiro shrugs again, but this time he feels helpless doing it. “No, nothing about Lance.” Memories of their previous conversation cross his mind. “He told me he used to be Adam’s student, but I can’t even remember that.”

Keith bites his lips, hesitant to say the next few words. “It’s hard to believe…”

“I know.” Shiro sighs. “I feel bad thinking like that, but I don’t know if I can believe Lance with this one, even though I pushed him into talking and asked him about my suspicion. I guess I never really thought it could turn out like this.”

Keith’s curiosity picks up. He steps closer until he’s only a foot away, leans forward and tilts his head in a fashion he must have picked up from a certain Red Paladin. “What suspicion?”

“Whenever I talked to Lance I had this weird feeling, as if a memory was right in front of me, but I was never able to remember anything. That’s why I kept on talking about it, even though he was reluctant to tell me anything.” Shiro tries to ignore Keith’s disapproving look about the matter and keeps on explaining instead. “I guess he knew that remembering would hurt me and tried to prevent that by avoiding the topic.”

“That sounds like Lance.” Keith sighs. He slowly rounds the cockpit a few times before speaking up again. “What about that third person you talked about, besides Adam and you?”

Another shrug. “I don’t have any clear memories about that person, only snippets of feeling the same kind of love I have for Adam, just towards another person.”

As he talks, Shiro pushes himself off the wall and starts pacing in the cockpit as well. He wishes he could have some more space, maybe take a proper walk or do some training to sort through his own thoughts. But he is bound to the Black Lion right now, and the limited space it provides its additional residues. 

It takes another two rounds through the cockpit until Keith’s patience runs out. The twitch of his eyebrows betrays him, as well as the shift in his stance. Shiro watches him with an amused smile, enjoying the little tease before going back to explaining. 

“Back at the cliff I asked Lance if he knew something about that person, but he didn’t answer me and ran away. When I asked him in the Red Lion if that person is him he just nodded.”

“And then you passed out,” Keith concludes.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

Shiro leans back against the wall, eyes back on the sapphires outside. The coms ping, signaling that Keith left them off a little bit too long to go unnoticed, but when he checks the calls it’s just Hunk, asking Keith to put his foot down and end the ongoing fight of Pidge and Coran about their current location. 

With a sigh Keith opens all coms, orders Pidge and Coran to lay off and checks with everyone if they’re still fit to fly, or if they need to take a break on a nearby planet. A discussion breaks out again, mostly between Hunk, who wants to stock on fresh food, and Pidge, who doesn’t want to leave course out of fear of getting lost again.

Keith groans, obviously not in the mood to dissolve another problem. Being the leader is still new to him and doing ‘leader-stuff’ can be quite the task if he has other things on his mind.

Shiro chuckles to himself but gets heard by Keith nevertheless and earns a dirty look. His eyes clearly challenge him to either shut up or make them shut up, but before Shiro can even think of something to say, Lance chimes in.

“Hunk,” he moans in annoyance, clearly on the edge as well, “on the last planet you picked up a few things that spoil fast, so we have to finish that first before we can restock fresh food.”

In the short silence that follows, Shiro remembers how Hunk had talked non-stop for almost two hours about the alien fruit and vegetables he collected and needs to cook before anything turns bad. 

Hunk seems to remember as well. “Oh right, I totally forgot about that.”

Lance hums satisfied with the answer. His head pops up on the screen, but he’s not looking at Shiro and Keith but at the screen showing the Green Lion. “And Pidge,” he adds, voice both stern and gentle at the same time, “I get that you don’t want to get lost again, trust me, neither do I, but we use this big, blue star to navigate, and it will literally not go anywhere, even if we land on a planet for a few hours.”

Pidge looks at Lance, mouth turning into a frown that could match Keith’s. “Well… you are not wrong,” she says after a while, quite reluctant. The corners of her mouth are twitching though, and Shiro has no doubt that Lance’s own annoyance over the reoccurring ‘little wrong turns’, as how Coran likes to call them, lifts her mood immensely. 

“So,” Lance claps his hands together which only serves to intensify his conclusion, “we don’t need food and we won’t accidentally change course. The only question is if we really need a break.”

Allura pipes up. She’s been oddly quiet during the whole conversation, but Shiro guesses the long trip through space is taking a toll on all of them, including the space princess. She claps her hands together as well, more out of habit than to make a point. “I think we all would benefit from a change of scenery.”

“It’s probably better for our mental stability and physical health to see something else than blue stars for a change,” Coran adds quickly.

Hunk and Pidge stay quiet, but Shiro is sure they won’t fight the final decision, since their main points were invalidated by Lance. 

Keith turns around in his chair, asking Shiro for his opinion with a raised eyebrow. 

Shiro shrugs and gives him a smile before addressing the group. “I’d love to get some fresh air as well.”

“Alright, let’s take a break then.” Keith leans back in his chair to eye the screen on his left. “Pidge, can you find us a nearby planet where we can rest?”

“On it.” She doesn’t even look up, already deep into searching through the data the Green Lion has saved on this galaxy. After a few minutes her head pops up with a victorious grin, and points out a planet not too far away that has breathable air and shouldn’t be occupied by any Galra.

Keith checks with everybody, and after getting their consent he turns off the autopilot and heads for the coordinates Pidge has given them. The coms stay quiet until Hunk and Pidge pick up some discussion about a new kind of tech they are working on, so Keith turns off the coms and turns around to pick up their previous topic.

“I still don’t know what to think,” he says, voice almost a whisper even though no one else can hear them. He looks to his right, where Lance usually occupies the space on his screen. “But I think we both know that Lance would never lie about something like this.”

Shiro lets the words sink in. He knows that Lance must tell the truth but knowing and believing are two completely different things. It’s just… how can he remember Adam, but not Lance? 

And how much is he hurting Lance by not talking to him?

“I don’t know what to do,” he confesses. 

Keith seems to think about something, his face going through various frowns before he speaks up. “When we had to rearrange the team after the disappearance and fight Lotor, we kind of had to take a huge leap in the dark.” His eyes stay on the screen as he speaks. “Your current… ‘situation’ combined with your memory loss probably feels like that right now.”

“What did you do to get through this back then?”

The hint of a smile appears on his face as he looks at Shiro. His eyes have something knowing in them, a spark of a memory and a glint of pride. “I trusted Lance.”

* * *

Another long week is spent inside the lions and Lance is slowly losing his mind. The rest of the team is still careful around him, even though he makes sure to be loud and joke around and not to mention anything about the Garrison. He feels like Kaltenecker is the only one who still treats him the same. Even Keith’s space wolf is cuddlier and more affectionate towards him than before. 

Lance pets the cow for a while. He came down to make sure Kaltenecker still has enough food, water and gets some company, but since the mice came over with Kosmo, Kaltenecker at least doesn’t lack the company anymore. She sure seems to like her new friends. 

Another reason why he visits Kaltenecker is to get away from the cockpit for a while. He never brings his helmet down here; Red can inform him if anything important happens through their bond. Even though the lion doesn’t like it when Lance uses the autopilot, it seems to have more patience with him than Lance would ever have imagined.

After checking on Kaltenecker Lance uses his time in the hold to rearrange some boxes that have shifted after their surprise flight training this morning and to make his bed. His pillows have landed on the floor, so he dusts them off and places them on top of the sheets. He looks around the room to find anything else to do, but all work is done, and he returns to his station with a sigh. 

Hunk has started talking about earth food when Lance was gone, and now he and Coran discuss different recipes and their similarities to Altean meals. Seems like pizza is a universal thing. Lance chuckles as Romelle chimes in with foods from her colony, and soon the whole group is talking about their favorite food. 

He listens the team lists of their favorite meals, imagining eating all this great stuff himself when he gets back on earth. Hunk mentions burger, Pidge talks about pasta, Keith about chili cheese fries, Takashi about sushi. 

“Oh, and miso soup,” he adds quickly. 

Lance is glad that his screen is turned off right now, so no one sees the grimace he’s making. He vividly remembers the time Takashi cooked miso soup for Adam and him. He liked miso soup until then, has eaten it with his family in a Japanese restaurant before, but Takashi lacks the most basic cooking skills, so his soup turned out bad. Really bad. Adam and him still ate it to make Takashi feel better, but the experience caused a trauma.

Lance doesn’t say that though.

“Lance,” Hunks calls him out of his thoughts. “What do you want to eat when we get back?”

“Dude, you know exactly how much I miss my mom’s food. The first thing I’ll eat back home are her garlic knots. And her ropa vieja. And fricasé de pollo. And torticas the morón. And tamale. And dulce de leche. And Reese’s.”

“Reese’s are not Cuban,” Keith interrupts. 

“But they’re so good, dude.” Lance huffs. “Not everything I want to eat is Cuban food.”

Pidge snickers. “Just most of it.” 

Lance leans back in his seat with a smile. “If you ever have my mom’s cooking you will never want to eat something else again.”

Hunk hums over the coms approvingly, probably because he has tasted the garlic knots Lance’s mother makes before. Lance can literally hear him smile over the coms when he adds, “Just wait until you taste my mom’s cooking. Mine and hers are worlds apart.”

Lance chuckles. “That’s not possible, you’re already the best chef in the whole universe.”

“Aw, you flatterer!”

“I don’t have any idea what all these foods are, but I want to taste all of them!” Romelle chimes in. 

Lance can hear Coran mutter something in the background and just hopes the old man doesn’t get offended by the lack of food goo on everyone’s list. He’s just as passionate about cooking as Hunk, but with all the work he had to do on the castleship, there was simply no time to spend in the kitchen, especially after Hunk took over. Lance reminds himself to take Coran back home with him, so his mother can show him around in a human kitchen, maybe even teach him some new recipes.

He bets his mom would be delighted to show Coran all her favorite recipes. It took little time for Lance to see him as his crazy space-uncle, and his family will probably think the same after getting to know him. His nephew and niece would love to listen to all the stories Coran has to tell, and his siblings would probably bribe Coran into giving them some blackmail material on their youngest brother.

Yeah, his family… a hollow feeling washes through Lance’s chest. He just misses them so, so much. Moving from home to the Garrison had been hard but manageable because Veronica was still around, and later on he just spend most of his free time with Adam and Takashi, so he never really had a chance to feel lonely. 

But now…

Lance wonders if this is how Adam feels. Well, he probably feels much worse, because he doesn’t know the whereabouts about both of his boyfriends, so he must be worried. And sad. And most certainly angry, at Takashi for going ahead and disappearing on the mission Adam didn’t want him to participate in and for Lance do practically do the same half a year later.

Has he gotten their message by now? Does he at least know that both of them are alive, and that Lance will keep an eye on Takashi? Does he know about the memory loss, and their current situation? 

Does Adam know how much Lance misses him?

A single tear rolling over his cheek jerks him out of his thoughts. He can still hear the others talk about food in the background, but Lance doesn’t feel like joining in again. He mutes his coms before a sniffle can give away that he is close to crying, and he doesn’t feel like explaining himself all over again. 

Right now, he wouldn’t be able to stand the disbelieving looks or the awkward silence that follows every time someone picks up the conversation about their relationship, so he stays quiet and avoids all possible interaction. 

Which, yeah, makes him sit alone in his Lion most of the time, coms silent and Red purring around him to lessen the impact of the feeling of loneliness when Lance gets like this. 

His eyes shift to the vast space outside. His screen shows the stars of this part of the galaxy together with old Altean stellar constellations, meaning this is a part of the universe where the ancient Altean people traveled through. 

Lance concentrates on the biggest constellation left from him, three bright stars in a perfect triangle, and comforts himself with the knowledge that he’ll be home soon.

He’ll see Adam soon.

* * *

Lance hardly smiles anymore, and never at Shiro. He shows everybody a mask of nonchalant happiness, but by now the group knows that it’s only an act the he plays so they don’t worry about him. 

They worry even more like this. 

After his talk with Keith, Shiro still feels… conflicted. It’s hard to put those feelings towards his teammate-slash-friend-slash-‘boyfriend he forgot about’ into words.

But even if Shiro can’t remember the love he felt for Lance, he can clearly remember his current feelings towards him. He likes him, cares about him, not in a romantic way, but at least as a friend. And Shiro doesn’t want to see his friend hurting like this. 

Adam would kill him for treating Lance like he does. 

Shiro sighs. Above all these confusing feelings of friendship and forgotten love there is a deep loneliness residing in his heart. He yearns for someone he could talk to, someone who understands what he’s feeling and can help him through it. Adam has always been that person to him, but he is billions of miles away. The only other person who could understand him like this is…

Maybe actually talking to him would help. It’s not just for Shiro’s conscience, but also for Lance. The hollow jokes and conversations, the pained look in his eyes; this needs to stop.

Shiro chooses the next planet to put his feeble plan into action. They take a quick break in the middle of some galaxy that consists mainly of weird space fog and mars-like planets in different colors. The bright yellow one they land on doesn’t have a name, but breathable air. That’s about it, because around them is nothing but sand and an occasional pebble. 

Keith, Krolia and Kosmo jump out of the Black Lion as soon as it paws touch the floor, stretching and enjoying the fresh air. The lion can get quite crammed with three adults and a wolf. The rest of the group joins them soon after, obviously relieved about the short break outside their lions. 

Lance was the second to land but is the last one to join them, since he usually checks up on Kaltenecker before taking his own time to rest. When he finally steps outside, his face is carefully neutral. It seems like he can’t bring himself to put on his mask today.

Shiro watches him descend the ramp and join Hunk and Pidge. They are talking about some kind of tracking tech, have been discussing various layouts for the past two hours, and Lance seems to understand just as much as Shiro does. Which is nothing.

With a chuckle Shiro takes a step forward. He steels himself mentally while walking over to the little group. He doesn’t know how Lance will react to his request, but he hopes that he will agree without much persuasion. 

He clears his throat behind him to get his attention. “Lance, can we talk?”

To say he looks surprised is an understatement. Hunk murmurs something that sound like an excuse before dragging Pidge away on her collar. Lance watches them leave with a look that screams ‘traitor’, but his expression is collected when he faces Shiro again.

He coughs slightly. “Like, now?”

“I thought I could fly with you in Red.” Shiro tries to keep his voice light and steady, but Lance seems to know what he wants to talk about. 

He clearly hesitates for a second before giving him a weak nod. “Uhm… okay, sure.”

Shiro smiles at him, relieved that Lance is willing to talk. They both know that their next stop is two days away, and that they will be stuck inside Red for that time, so it means a lot to know that Lance lets him in like this. “Thank you. I’ll see you later then.”

He gets back to Keith before his frown has a chance to stay on his face permanently and pats his shoulder when he still frowns after his arrival. It forms into a questioning look soon after, and Shiro makes sure to explain his plan to him before they get back to their lions. 

It’s about an hour later when they continue with their journey. Shiro quickly wraps up a conversation with Krolia about battle strategies, ignoring her confused look when he heads for the Red Lion instead of Black. 

Lance is already waiting for him on the ramp. Shiro joins him with an encouraging smile that Lance hardly reacts to. His thoughts are probably already occupied by their upcoming talk. Lance tends to think too much sometimes, Shiro knows by now.

The lions start one after another, Lance right behind Keith, and settle for an easy formation behind the Black Lion. They pass a few more planets before Lance can switch on the autopilot. A rumble goes through Red as he presses the button. It seems to be unhappy about it, but Lance pats the console soothingly and the sound quickly stops. 

With a sigh he gets up and joins Shiro in the back of the cockpit. Lance pushes a button in the wall of the back and a small bank appears. They both take a seat, and Shiro takes the little time to watch him closer. Lance’s arms are crossed, eyes everywhere but on Shiro, and his lips twisted into a little frown. This defensiveness doesn’t suit him well, since Shiro only knows him as open and upfront, friendly and willing to talk to almost anybody. 

Shiro clears his throat, hand scratching his neck while he searches for a good way to start their conversation. The look on Lance face quickly transforms into a ‘just spit it out’-smile, encouraging and challenging, just like he does it with Keith sometimes. 

It’s embarrassing how good it works. In the end, the storm of thoughts in his brain comes to a halt and Shiro blurts out the first thing that pops up in the silence. “I don’t doubt that we could have been a thing. I just don’t-“

And that about as far as he gets, because after that his mind is blank again. Where was he going with this in the first place? It his doubt really the first thing he wants to tell Lance after all this… craziness that is happening between them? 

Lance fills the silence between them after a few moments. “You don’t have feelings for me,” he says carefully, the pain hard to miss in his voice.

Shiro feels utterly helpless. “Lance, I-“

“No, Shiro. It’s okay. I know that already, or else it wouldn’t be like this.” Lance waves with his hand between them, a gesture that says more than it should with his trembling fingers and tears glistening in his eyes. “Or maybe it would,” he huffs, “I don’t know.”

“I’m sorry.” His own voice is rough now, throat tight, eyes burning. 

“You don’t have to apologize, Shiro. It’s not your fault,” Lance ensures gently. 

“I could have-“

Lance raises his hand to stop him. “You’re trying to cope with everything. It’s a lot, I know that. But you’re trying nevertheless, and that all that matters. That you’re not giving up.” Lance moves closer as he speaks, wraps his hands around Shiro’s and gives it a squeeze to emphasize his point. 

His smile is shaky, he sniffs and tries to blink away the tears. It is as endearing as it is comforting, and Shiro feels himself reciprocate the smile slowly. 

“I should have come to you sooner,” he sighs after a while.

“You needed time.” Lance sniffs a few more times and lets go of his hand to catch a tear that finally managed to fall. “It’s a lot to swallow.”

Shiro instantly misses the warmth and solace. “For both of us, I guess.”

Lance lets out a dry laugh. “For the whole group.”

A call from Hunk interrupts them. Lance gets back to his seat, clears his throat and rubs his eyes before answering. It just some questions about the food ration of Kaltenecker for the next few days. Lance quickly ensures him that he checked on her earlier, and that she has plenty stuff to munch on for at least a week. 

The call ends, and Lance gets back to Shiro. “Sorry for the interruption.”

“No, don’t worry. I uh-“ He doesn’t know what else there is to say, what else he could ask without making Lance uncomfortable or hurt again. The questioning look and tilted head together with the encouraging smile from Lance make everything much easier though. “I want to know more, but I don’t know where to start.” He starts a bit hesitant. “I don’t even know how much you know about me.”

A chuckle leaves Lance’s lips before he can help himself. “Your favorite plushie is a black cat called Jiji and you cried on your first night at the Garrison because you couldn’t bring her with you.”

“Oh.” Shiro’s not able to say anything else, his mind blank with the sudden realization. “So, you basically know everything about me.”

“No, of course not. Everyone has their secrets. I have mine, Adam has his and you have yours.” Lance shrugs, as if this is common knowledge. “I didn’t tell you every little thing about me, that would have been way to embarrassing.” That makes Shiro laugh, and Lance grins at him. “I’m pretty sure Adam and you never mentioned a few of your cadet stories on purpose because you are ashamed of them.”

Shiro gives him a doubtful look. “It sounds like you know about them anyway.”

Lance leans back in his seat, smug grin plastered on his lips and voice light, almost a like a gentle scolding. “Never underestimate the power of rumors and blackmail, Shiro.”

A loud laugh erupts from Shiro, something he hasn’t heard in a long time. Just the thought of Lance going around the Garrison, a sly grin on his face because he just found out about one of the many embarrassing stories of Adam and his cadet times, maybe even on his way to tease them with his newfound knowledge. 

This brings him back about the thoughts of all three of them together. This… familiarity Lance is giving him makes him think about all the things that must have been between them, the love they must have felt for each other, and the happiness. All those things that Shiro forgot about. It makes his heart ache. 

“It’s not the same as before,” Shiro sighs. “It can’t be.”

“I know.” Lance cast his gaze to the ceiling. “You changed a lot in the last few years,” he murmurs absentmindedly. Shiro grimaces, and Lance seems to see it from the corner of his eyes, because he adds quickly, “but I guess we all changed. Life tends to work that way.” 

When Shiro doesn’t react, Lance bumps his shoulder, first softly, then with more force, again and again until he cracks an amused smile. This somehow feels familiar, maybe they’ve done this before. Shiro can imagine that Lance is a pro in consoling other people by now, with his huge family, his sometimes dramatic boyfriends and their mix-matched group of space-friends. 

A loud rumble distracts him from the thoughts about the past. Red seems to have enough of the autopilot. With a sigh Lance gets up from the bench and takes his usual seat in his pilot chair again. With another pat on Red’s console, he takes control again.

Shiro gets up to, and the bench disappears into the wall again. He walks towards the front screen, halts right beside Lance and leans against the backrest of his chair. He lets Lance concentrate for a while before speaking up again. “Can you tell me about the past?” 

He watches Lance head shoot around, startled of this sudden question. Shiro gives him a careful smile. “Only if it’s okay with you.”

“I’m okay with it but are you?” he asks doubtful. “The last few times we spoke about it you literally passed out.” His gaze flickers back to the screen as he huffs out a dry laugh. “Keith would kill me if I make you pass out again.”

“We’ll be careful,” Shiro suggests. “And what Keith doesn’t know…”

That evokes a bright grin from Lance, the brightest Shiro has seen in a while. “Oh my god. Takashi Shirogane, are you telling me I should keep secrets from my leader?”

He mirrors the smile. “Yeah?”

“Alright.” Lance complies, his smile quickly replaced by a serious look. “But honestly, tell me if it gets too much.”

“I promise.” 

“Good.” Lance chuckles. He looks excited over Shiro’s interest. “So, what do you wanna know?”

Shiro takes a moment to think about it. “Well, let’s start at the beginning. How did all of us get together?”

“That’s a long story.”

“We have a lot of time,” Shiro counters. 

“I guess.” Lance leans a bit back in his seat, eyes leaving the screen to look at Shiro while thinks about where to begin. “Well, you and Adam were already together when Adam got assigned as the flight instructor for my class…”

 

The two days in Red go by quickly. Lance tells Takashi a lot of stories, not only from their times together, but also little snippets about Adam and himself that Takashi seemed to have completely forgotten about. There are even some embarrassing parts, something that makes him blush furiously and Lance snicker loudly. 

It feels really nice to talk about him after these long weeks of complete silence. 

It feels even nicer to know that Takashi wants to be here with him. The open questions, the laughs they share, even the time Takashi rejects Keith’s offer to let Kosmo take him to another lion for a change of scenery; all those things make his heart feel bubbly and warm.

The headaches seem to be a part of the past now, at least Takashi didn’t look like he had one even once. It a big relief to know that Lance doesn’t hurt him anymore. They can’t explain the sudden change, maybe his last breakdown made some hidden walls inside his brain collapse, maybe the acceptance over their shared past help him overcome them. 

It doesn’t matter, as long as they don’t return. 

Lance slowly starts running out of stories from the Garrison, so he mixes it up with stories from his family. Takashi eagerly listens to them as well, even asks some questions when he gets confused with the names of just another cousin or aunt, and sometimes adds a story of his own until they arrive at their next stop. 

Unulax looks almost exactly like earth, only with pink water and blue vegetation. The colors remind Lance a bit of bubblegum, and there is a constant sweet smell in the air. They land in a clearing in the middle of a big forest. The trees are high enough to hide most of the lions, and the river nearby will provide them with enough water for at least a few weeks.

Lance takes up the opportunity to get Kaltenecker out of his hold for a while. Red is able to clean the room itself, which saves Lance a lot of time and work, so he only has to think about restocking Kaltenecker’s food rations. Cows always have to have something to chow on, so he has to gather a lot of snacks while he is here. 

Keith splits up the work between the groups. Hunk, Lance, Coran and Romelle look for food for the group and the animals while he and Krolia go hunt for some meat. The rest should set up the camp for the night, gather some firewood and keep an eye for any enemy activity. 

They are quickly done with there work. Apparently, Coran knows most of the plants here, and what he doesn’t know is at least registered in the little databank Pidge installed in their space-phones. They gather enough food to last them for the next two days, even though Romelle and Coran want to take more to see who can lift the heavier weight. Hunk sighs defeated at their little quarrel and leaves Lance to dissolve the problem.

They reach the camp sooner than Keith and Krolia. The fire is already started, but the tents not build. Pidge points out that the nights can get pretty cold and that it would probably better to sleep in the lions for the time being. 

Oh well, Lance is so used to it by now, he kind of misses Reds reassuring rumble when he’s not sleeping in his lion. And he certainly wouldn’t mind another sleepover with Takashi, that is if the other is up for it of course.

Hunk immediately starts preparing dinner when they get back. Lance checks on Kaltenecker again, but Takashi took good care of her while he was gone, so he quickly lets her wander off. He knows the cow won’t go too far, and most animals probably stay far away from the lions anyway, so she shouldn’t be in danger. 

Lance joins Takashi on a blanket next near the fire. The temperature is still high enough to sit comfortably outside, but the warmth of the fire sure feels nice on his skin. He watches Hunk do his magic and absentmindedly listens to Pidge and Coran bicker about their current coordinates again. Their little fights are getting old, but Lance is glad both of them have so much energy left after the long journey.

Keith and Krolia return with a bunch of alien-fish and give them right into Hunk’s grabby hands. They get something to dry off their wet armor and joins them around the fire after a while. 

Dinner is, as always, a delicious feast. Hunk really outdid himself again, even adding a starter before the main course because he has so much ingredients to work with. After eating Lance feels so full, he could fall asleep immediately. He leans back on the blanket with a groan, and Takashi proceeds to poke his side until Lance has to swap his hand away with a laugh. 

“Stop it.” 

Takashi chuckles. “Don’t fall asleep.”

“We will leave you outside if you do,” Keith joins in, “and then you will freeze to death.”

“You’re so mean,” Lance whines, but sits back up from the floor. 

“But he’s right,” Takashi adds with a grin. 

Lance bumps his shoulder, earning a laugh and a bump in return. They look at each other with a smile before moving their attention back on the group. Everyone besides Keith and Krolia look at them funny, especially Pidge. Her glasses nearly fall off her face because of her staring. Lance crooks an eyebrow at her and she finally speaks up.

“Nothing, it’s just…” She clears her throat awkwardly. “It’s just still hard to believe.”

Lance tries to force down the unhappy smile and answers her with humor instead. “Ha, tell me about it. It took me a while until I was convinced that this was actually happening and not some kind of continuously developing dream.”

Hunk claps his hands together as it hits him. “That’s why you looked like a maniac for your phone every morning?”

Lance laughs at his shocked face. “Exactly. I took a few pictures of the three of us as a prove for my future-self, and a lot more after things got more serious.”

“I wish I could see them,” Takashi says after a while. 

“Yeah, me too,” Pidge chimes in, voice carefully neutral, but a honest smile on her face. “I bet you look good together.”

Even Allura adds to this. “I would love to see your mate Adam as well.”

“I had photos on my phone.” Takashi sighs. “But I left it on the ship on Kerberos. I doubt it survived our abduction.”

“I had a photo of Adam and you on mine, but I left it at the shack.” Keith shrugs, but his tone definitely sounds disappointed. Lance watches Takashi give him a thankful look, and Keith return it after a while. 

It makes him think. Lance knows he kept the phone turned off because of the battery, and never asked Pidge or Hunk if they could help him with that out of fear to expose his relationship. But now they know, so…

“Uhm…” he starts, still not sure of it, but a look at Takashi makes the decision really easy. “I brought my phone with me.”

“Dude!” Pidge screeches, the same time as Hunk screams, “Go get it!”

Lance startles at their excitement. He didn’t expect that reaction at all. A bit hesitant he adds, “It’s just low on battery, so we don’t have mu-“

Pidge jumps up from her seat. “Hunk, get some cable. I’ll get my computer.” With that she runs to her lion. 

Hunk scrambles to his feet as well, already mumbling about what he should use for the connection of laptop, cable and phone. “We got this,” he says to Lance while passing him, and joins an overexcited Pidge on her way to the Yellow Lion for the material. 

Lance is still sitting on the blanket, watching his friends walk away in shocked silence. A bump to his shoulder jerks him out of his thoughts. He turns around to see Takashi smiling at him, a hopeful look in his eyes. And that’s enough to get Lance to scramble to his feet as well to get his phone from the armrest of Red’s chair. 

He’s almost a quick a Pidge, running towards Red, receiving the familiar rumbles, and jogging back towards Shiro with his phone clutched to his chest. He plops down on the blanket and switches it on. It takes longer than he remembers, probably because he hasn’t used it in a while, but it still works. 

Lance lets out a relieved sigh and concentrates on Pidge and Hunk instead, who are back from looting Yellow for spare parts and are eagerly working on a charger. It takes them about as long as Lance’s phone needs to start up, and they carefully connect it to Pidge’s laptop, even going so far to copy his photos on there so they can have a little dia-show.

Lance looks over the group before settling his eyes on Takashi. “What do you want to see first?”

“I guess we should start at the beginning,” he says with a knowing smile. 

“Right.” Lance smiles back before scrolling through the folder and clicking at the first picture. “So, this was on our first date.”

 

The dia-show lasts longer than expected, because Lance has a story for every photo on his phone, and the group is eager to listen. Only when the fire burns out and Pidge is shivering through her four blankets they decide to call it a night.

Without even thinking about it, Shiro walks with Lance back to his lion. The short surprise on Lance’s face tells him that he probably didn’t think that Shiro would stay with him for another night, but his pillow and blankets are still there, so it’s only logical that he stays, right?

Not to mention that the nightmares decreased immensely with Lance’s presence near him, and that he really doesn’t mind spending more time with him anyway. 

Lance’s routine before going to bed takes a little bit more time than Shiro’s, so he has a few minutes to himself to think about everything that happened the last few days. It feels good to be able to talk with Lance normally again, even with all these changes between them. 

Shiro doesn’t know what the future hold for them, for all three of them, but he’s sure they will work something out. There are a lot of things they have to talk about when they get back to earth. Especially Adam and Shiro, because in their last conversation they basically broke up with each other. 

He rubs his eyes with a sigh. Honestly, he doesn’t even know if Adam will talk to him if they get back. The things Shiro said to him were less than nice, and he regrets most of it. Shiro doesn’t allow himself to think too much about it though, because even if the Kerberos mission brought him and his loved ones so much pain, in the end it also brought him to Voltron, made him a Paladin, and gave him a disease-free body.

It has its good and its bad sides, but right now Shiro wishes nothing else than to be back at the Garrison in his bed, with all of his memories and his boyfriend… or boyfriends in his arms. 

Lance comes back from the little bathroom, humming some melody while he wraps himself in his three blankets. He falls into his bed with a sigh, smiling brightly at Shiro, probably still happy from the positive reaction of the group. 

“Can I ask you something?” Shiro rolls on his side to get a better look at Lance. He watches Lance’s bright smile fade to a more serious one and waits for Lance to roll on his side as well and nod at him before continuing. “Adam and I had a fight before I left.” His voice is hesitant and shaky. Even the memory of their fight hurts. “He broke up with-”

“He didn’t mean it,” Lance interrupts quickly. He unwraps himself from his blankets, walks over to Shiro’s bed and takes a seat. The questioning look from Shiro makes him add quickly, “Well, he did in that moment, but he didn’t break up with you.” 

“How can you-“ Shiro stops himself, because the answer sits right in front of him. “Oh, yeah. You probably talked to him.”

“I talked to both of you,” Lance answers. “Back then I told you what Adam told me after your fight: You still have a fiancé when you return to earth.” He chuckles, but it sounds dry, almost sad. “You both were too stubborn to have a real talk with each other before you left.”

“He doesn’t even know I’m alive.” Shiro sighs. “And now you are missing too.”

“He knows that we both are fine.” Lance takes a deep breath as if to steel himself for the next words. “I send him a message before we left earth to tell him that you’re alive.” “And you- well, your clone gave Sam a message for him when he left for earth.” “And I kind of snuck a message to Adam on the same tape.” At Shiro’s shocked look he gets defensive. “What? I couldn’t have sent him one myself without exposing us. I had to get creative.”

Shiro can’t stop the disbelieving laugh that erupts from him. This is just one of the thousand things he would never think of himself, but totally expect Lance to do. Lance pouts at him, but he knows it’s only for show. The amused spark in his eyes speaks for itself. 

“Are you sure Adam-“

“Takashi, come on,” Lance interrupts him again. “You know him, even longer than I do. Do you really think he hates you because of a stupid fight?”

It feels like his heart stopped for a beat. It’s been years since he’s been called that. “Takashi?”

Lance head snaps around. “Oh shit! Sorry, I-“ He scrambles for some words, but they all come out as a stammered mess. 

“It’s fine,” Shiro laughs out, effectively silencing Lance. “And you’re probably right.”

“Not just ‘probably’,” Lance scolds him on his way back to his own bed. He wraps himself back into his sheets and plops down again, this time for good. Lance gives Shiro a last smile before turning off the lights and leaving him to his own thoughts.

* * *

Space never ceases to amaze Lance. The infinite number of different galaxies, planets, stars, aliens, even alternate universes, the way it can fuck with your mind, and even your body, and most importantly: your time. 

Pidge had calculated that their way back to earth would take about one and a half years; way too much if you ask Lance. Thankfully, a weird space storm helped them speed up their travels by thousands of light years. 

After receiving Sam’s message, the group decided to hide the lions on the outskirts of Saturn, fly to earth in a stolen Galra ship and make they’re way to the Garrison on their own.

Sitting in the back of the Garrison issued transporter, picked up by his former classmates, Lance has trouble hiding his excitement and fear. As they pass more and more ruins of the city where he used to spend his free time after school, even go on a few dates with Takashi and Adam, an uneasy feeling settles in his chest. 

Lance jerks his eyes from the window. It hurts too much to see earth like this. All he ever hoped for, for earth to be save, for his family to be fine; it feels like his life is crumbling into dust, and with it the ground beneath him, letting him sink in a black hole of nothingness.

A bump to his shoulder jerks him out of his thoughts. The dreadful feelings are shoved aside by his delight over Takashi’s concern. Lance meets his eyes and tries to give him a smile, which turns out shakier than anticipated, but Takashi seems to know what he means. 

Lance doesn’t dare to break the silence in the transporter himself, he doesn’t even know what he should talk about. Random chatter seems more than inappropriate, and he is sure the driver doesn’t know if his family is at the Garrison or not, so Lance stays quiet. 

He sighs quietly. This drive feels way to long. 

Takashi’s hand bumps into his own. At first Lance thinks it’s just by accident, but Takashi surprises him by covering his hand completely, and even going so far to intertwine their fingers. The gesture is appreciated, but totally unexpected, and Lance gives him a questioning look. Well, he tries to, but Takashi’s looking to the other side, ears red from blushing and refusing to look at him, even after Lance squeezes his hand multiple times. 

Lance has a hard time not teasing Takashi about it. How would he react if he knew that the three of them did way more stuff behind doors than holding hands? Gosh, he is so cute. 

He stifles a laugh with his free hand and after thinking about it for a moment, leans his head on Takashi’s shoulder. He squeezes his hand one more time as a ‘thank you’ and gets a light squeeze in return. 

The drive goes by way quicker like this. 

Soon they find themselves outside the city skirts, driving towards an enormous energy shield that looks almost like the ones they had on the castleship. Seem like Sam successfully managed to combine Altean and human technology and keep at least a small part of earth safe from the Galra. 

The highest ranking officers of the Garrison surrounded by dozens of cadets. Lance can make out a few familiar faces from his schooltime, including Sam, his wife and their dog Rover. 

The transporters stop in front of the assembly. Colleen is already running straight towards the first car, and as the roof opens for them to exit, Pidge cries out her name and leaps right into her mother’s arms. Lance watches the heartwarming scene with a smile, until he gets distracted by the shout of his name. 

“Lance!” 

He looks to his side, eyes wide and disbelieving. 

“Uncle Lance!” his niece and nephew scream in unison while running towards him. 

His brain shuts off completely, and his body moves on autopilot. “Hey!” he calls back, while already halfway out of the transporter and running towards his family. He falls on his knees to wrap his arms around Nadia and Sylvio. The kids hug him with more strength then he remembers, and the embrace gets even tighter when the rest of his family joins him on the ground. 

“My son,” he hears his mother say with a shaky voice. Lance leans his head on her arm and receives hundreds of kisses on his forehead from her. 

“It’s so good to see you,” he says to the whole group, and can’t stop the tears from falling anymore. With a smile he lets them fall, just like the rest of his family around him. 

Veronica holds his cheek over Rachel and Nadia’s shoulder. “We never gave up on you.” 

Lance leans into the touch. God, he had missed this. He had missed his family so much. 

He tells them just that a few seconds later. The group hug disbands, but they still sit in a tight circle on the ground. Lance uses the time to take in all the faces. Everyone looks older, hair longer and grey, a few more wrinkles here and there. And of course Sylvio and Nadia. “Oh my gosh, you two are so much bigger now.”

The kids chuckle. “You’re the same size!” Sylvio answers.

Well, Lance can’t say much to that. He probably is still the same size from when he left. With a grin he grabs the kids and squeezes them back to his chest, earning a wholehearted laugh from the whole family. Yeah, he had missed this. 

With a grin he turns around to check on the rest of his group. Pidge is still in her mother’s arms, now joined by Sam and their dog. Keith, Hunk and Takashi are talking to Iverson of all people, but they seem to get along. 

Takashi sends him a quick smile before getting back to his own conversation. 

Lance turns back to his family. The kids already bombard him with questions about space and the lions, but his sister-in-law quickly shushes them. They have enough time to talk about everything later after all, and most importantly when they don’t have to sit on the ground. He can’t help but laugh at the cute little pout his niece has mastered over the years and taps her nose to get her attention.

“I promise I’ll tell you guys all my cool space stories later, okay?”

He earns a bright smile from her, and a loud ‘yes’ and almost a tiny fist in his eye from his nephew, who starts to jump and wiggle in his hold from his excitement. 

“Lance!”

His head snaps over to Keith, his voice way to serious for anything else than an emergency. Even from the distant he can see his distraught face. Takashi is wearing the same expression, but his eyes are cast on Iverson instead of him. Next to him Keith calls him over with a nod of his head. 

The kids get lifted out of his arms, and as he turns around he can see them back in Luis’ and Rachel’s arms. Veronica nods towards his friends and gives him an understanding smile. “Go. It’s probably important.”

Lance returns her smile before standing up. “I’ll see you later, okay?”

His family nods with bright smiles and he receives a few pats on his shoulder from his brothers and his father before he’s allowed to go. 

Lance jogs over to where Keith and Takashi are still standing with Iverson. He eyes all of them warily. “Hey, what’s wrong?” They don’t answer. “Keith?” His face shows nothing but a frown, eyes unreadable when he finally looks at Lance. Dread begins to fill his mind. Panicked his eyes move to the left. “Shiro?”

Takashi sighs and runs his hand through his hair. He looks at him with a pained expression. “It’s about Adam.”

From there on Lance doesn’t really register what happens next. It feels like he is back in the cafeteria almost two years ago, watching the breaking news on the television on the wall about the failed Kerberos mission. It feels like he is back in the standardized small flat he had spent many nights in, watching Adam break apart between shattered picture frames and shards of dishes and decoration on the cold floor of his living room. 

Iverson guides them through unfamiliar hallways, not saying a word about their goal or the fact that Lance is accompanying Takashi to this ‘very private thing’ he wants to show him. 

Takashi is quiet as well. Lance can see his hand balled into a tight fist, every muscle of his arm screaming because of the strain. Lance would love to reach out to him, hold his hand and tell him that everything will be okay, but he knows it’s nothing but empty words, and he doubts the gesture would be accepted in front if Iverson, much less appreciated. 

So Lance keeps his hands to himself, wringing them in front of his chest to keep them busy. He tries to focus on his breath, on his steps, on anything but these long halls and the cruel truth that lies behind them. Because it can’t be. It just can’t be.

They finally reach a big hall. The lights are dimmed down, as they wanted to match the dark hues with the air of mourning inside the room. In the middle, illuminated by a single beam of light, is a long pedestal and a memorial with hundreds of pictures and names on it. 

Takashi stops right beside Iverson and looks at the monument with an unreadable look, but Lance knows what’s going in inside him. He feels just the same. 

After all they’ve gone through, it can’t be. 

Lance eyes the wall himself for a while, but from the distance he can’t read any of the names, the pictures just blurred squares, especially with the tears that slowly start to form in his eyes. He takes a deep breath and takes the first step towards the pedestal, then another and another until he stands right in front of memorial. 

It can’t be.

He reads the first name in front of him, someone he doesn’t know, a face he’s never seen before, but he doesn’t dwell too long on it. His brain only registers that Lance is in the from section, since the letter ‘A’ must be further to his left. 

He slowly moves over, takes on shaky breath after another and wills the tears down until his eyes fall on the familiar face of his lover. 

Adam W.

Just like for all the other pilots and soldiers that have fallen in the fight against the Galra, the Garrison honored him with a plate that states his rank, his first name, and the picture of him in his uniform Lance always liked so much. 

Lance carefully lifts his hand and touches the plate with trembling fingers. A sob erupts from his chest and cues the tears to fall down his cheeks. He doesn’t notice Takashi’s presence until he puts his hand over Lance’s, fingers trembling just like his own and squeezing tight where they touch. 

“It’s because of them that earth still has a chance,” Iverson says. 

And sure, those words are meant to be emphatic, but they only throw Lance into another fit of sobs and tears and silent cries of ‘no, no, no…’

Takashi moves closer to him, his back now pressed against Lance’s side, and suddenly Lance doesn’t care about appropriate behavior or stupid ranks or even Iverson watching them. With another loud sob he turns and wraps his arms around Takashi’s neck, crying even more when he feels him reciprocate the embrace and pressing him tight to his chest. 

Lance tries to stifle his sobs, but his body doesn’t feel like stopping for a while. The tears keep flowing and his breath stays sluggish and his brain won’t stop flooding him with memories of better times, interrupted by the harsh reality that makes him cry out in despair. 

Takashi holds him tighter with every fit, but doesn’t try to comfort him beside the embrace, too occupied by his own pain to do much more than just stand there and let everything sink in. 

Iverson clears his throat behind them to get their attention. Lance tries to curl away, not wanting to deal with anything besides himself right now, but Takashi turns both of them a bit, so he can look at Iverson properly. 

“It’s time for our debriefing,” he says with a somber voice before he turns to leave. Iverson’s footsteps fade as he walks away, leaving them alone in complete silence if not for the tired sobs wreaking through their bodies. 

“Adam…” Lance whispers into Takashi’s collar. He sniffs, holds his breath, sniffs again, but it doesn’t matter, because the tears won’t stop. 

Takashi shushes him with a shaky voice. “I know…” He presses his cheek against Lance’s hair, making it wet with salty tears, but he doesn’t care. “I know…”

He just doesn’t care anymore.

Because they are finally here, they are finally on earth, they are finally home. But Adam is gone.

Another sob, another tear, another cry.

Takashi holds him tighter. 

Adam is gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Comments mean the world to me, so please tell me what you think about this fic.
> 
> And in case you were wondering, here is [ my tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/wertdifferenz).


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What is left for Lance and Shiro after finding out their lover died?
> 
> They can do nothing but hold on to each other.

The medical bay is a very busy place, bustling with nurses and doctors, sick people and their visitors and the usual emergency every now and then. Lance is glad that he was given an own room to rest after his last mission, or else it would be impossible for him to relax and sleep in between the usual visits of his energetic family. 

Lance enjoys the company of the people he missed the most when he was in space. He doesn’t mind when his nephew and niece come around to listen to some of his stories, or when Veronica, Rachel and his sister-in-law Lisa visit to have a little spa-session with him. The doctors haven’t cleared him yet, so all he can do is sit and wait until he’s released for his next mission.

At least that’s what he tells his mom. And he really tried his best to do what the doctors had told him, but after spending so much time constantly moving in space, it’s just hard to sit down and let himself heal for a while, even though the repaired cryo-pod already did most of the work.

See, Lance has never been someone who can sit still for longer than five minutes, and even those five minutes are already torture. And sure, his siblings and the kids try to entertain him as much as possible, but Lance just can’t help himself sometimes. The little demon on his shoulder that tells him what he wants to do is always so much louder than the little angel that berates him to stay in line. 

That’s how he finds himself sneaking through the dark hallways of the medical wing, dodging the nurses from the nightshift and a few patrols with expertise, and indulging the flutter in his stomach whenever he manages to hide right before getting caught. 

With a grin on his lips he moves past the rooms of Pidge and Hunk, he has already visited them the nights before. This night he doesn’t stop to catch up with them.

This night he’s going stargazing. 

It takes him a while to get to the stairwell that leads to the highest roof of the Garrison. By the time he reaches the top floor, his breath is labored and his hands shaking from excitement. It has been a while since he’s been here, and the place is filled with bittersweet memories since it’s the same roof where Hunk and he found Pidge sneaking around almost five years ago. 

There’s no one listening to intergalactic radio-frequencies this night, and he’s glad to have the place to himself. The last few days of being treated from the nurses and doctors and dotted from his whole family has left his social-nerves a bit raw, and Lance really needs a few hours of alone-time right now. 

Even with the purple light on the energy field the sky, the view over the widespan of the roof never fails to take his breath away, and Lance breaks out in a huge grin. Thousands of stars are lit above him, sparkling in familiar constellations, brighter than ever with the dark new moon in the center. No cloud, no aircraft, no alien spaceships disturb the beautiful sight, and no one to disturb the moment. 

Lance saunters over to the far end of the roof to lay out the blanket he had brought with him. He lays on his back, arms crossed under his head as a pillow and takes a deep, freeing breath. The cold air freshens his lungs and Lance feels himself being tossed into memories from his time as a cadet.

He spent many nights on the roof before, watching the stars and reminiscing about his family back in Cuba. Lance never dared to take anyone else here, too afraid to lose one of his only private places on the school grounds. That is of course, until one of his boyfriends found him sneaking out here. 

Lance half expects Adam stomping through the rooftop door, annoyed and exhausted from climbing the stairs and ready to give him a long lecture about sneaking around at night, almost hears him gasp in amazement at the sight of the starry night, is just about to reach out his hand to intertwine their fingers and hold on tightly. 

A hollow feeling is left in his heart when the memory fades away. Lance closes his eyes and tries to think about happy things instead.

The old door opens with a loud squeak, and Lance can hear a deep sigh before it closes again. He doesn’t need to open his eyes to know who is walking towards him now, already used to the sound of his heavy footsteps. His mouth splits into a wide grin when Takashi comes to a halt right next to him. 

“I thought the doctors said that you should rest for tomorrow.” 

He sounds a little upset.

Lance opens one eye to look at him. Takashi’s new arm is faintly glowing in this very special Altean turquoise, the energy core of Allura’s crown providing it with the light that makes him look ethereal. The old, floating underarm got replaced by a proper, full arm that looks just like his left one, much to Lance’s delight, because he likes it when Takashi can wrap him in both of his arms when they hug. 

Lance gives him a sheepish smile after Takashi is done scolding him. “I am resting though.”

“Sneaking out is not resting,” he sighs, his eyes holding clear disapproval and his arms crossing over his chest to make a point. 

The sight makes Lance laugh. He knows that it only takes a tiny bit of luring to get the frown out of his face again. “Come on, Shiro,” he beckons while patting the space next to him. “The blanket is big enough for both of us.”

Takashi visibly falters, his eyes roaming over the blanket and around him, taking in the stars behind the energy field before moving back to Lance. When he sighs again Lance knows that he got him. He scoots over so Takashi has enough space to make himself comfortable on the ground. Which he does, leaving only an inch or so between them. An unnecessary inch. 

Lance gives Takashi a few moments to settle before closing the tiny gap between them. Their arms are touching, Lance’s own body heat spreading over, and Takashi starting to relax beside him. They gaze at the stars in silence, taking deep breaths of the fresh air and just enjoying the company of the other. 

Lance takes another deep breath of the fresh air. “Are you ready for the mission tomorrow?”

“I hope so.” Takashi sighs. “It’s been a while since I worked with you guys.”

“You always work with us.” Lance nudges his shoulder playfully, and chuckles when he receives a nudge in return. “You’re just in my lion instead of the ATLAS this time,” he concludes.

“You make it sound so easy,” Takashi murmurs lowly. 

“It will be easy. We get in contact with the rebellion, free the civilians and destroy the base.” Lance uses his fingers to list every step, only to let his hand slump on his stomach as soon as he finished counting. He shrugs, his shoulder sliding against Takashi’s arm what emphasizes their closeness. “We do this all the time.”

Takashi is quiet for a while. He slowly sneaks his pinky finger around Lance’s and squeezes a bit before he speaks up. “You got hurt last time.” It’s barely a whisper, his voice carrying all the fear and pain he must have felt during their last mission. 

Lance holds his breath. Squeezes Takashi’s pinky back. “It was just a scratch,” is all he manages to force out, and even though he wanted it to sound more lightly, less downplayed, he knows his choice of words are terribly wrong as soon as they leave his lips. 

“Just a scratch,” Takashi repeats mockingly. 

It has Lance sitting up. He can’t remember the last time Takashi used that voice with him, at least not after his memory loss. Of course, he is right, it wasn’t just a scratch, rather a proper shot grazing his dominant firing arm and making him almost useless for the rest of the mission as well as putting him into the hospital wing for two days until Coran and Pidge fixed the cryo-pod. 

But still… 

“Shiro…” Lance voice falters, not knowing what to say. Every sentence that comes to his mind feels like a lie, like a mere wish spoken to the stars. He doesn’t want to minimize the incident, nor Takashi’s concern for his safety, but there is nothing that they could have done differently. 

Getting hurt is just part of their job. 

“Takashi,” he starts again, voice more confident than he’s feeling right now. “We’ll be fine.” Lance intertwines their fingers and squeezes his hand, holding on to him like he does to the meaning behind his words. “Both of- all of us will be fine.”

Takashi is watching him, the frown still there but slowly losing its sharpness. He takes a few deep breaths before squeezing Lance’s hand back and using his hold to drag him down into his arms. Lance stiffens at the contact, too surprised by the sudden firmness of Takashi’s chest on his cheek and the warmth of the arm around him. 

It doesn’t take him long to relax in his hold, his body already used to this from a few years ago. When his brain settles after the first major freak-out of ‘Holy shit, Takashi is hugging me!’ Lance takes full advantage to cuddle into him like he used to before Kerberos. 

“We’ll be fine,” Takashi echoes his words softly. 

Lance hums in response, reveling the soft huffs of warm air in his hair and the hand stroking along his back. He watches the stars for a while until his eyes hurt, and all he can see in nothing more than the purple hue of the energy shield around them. 

He closes his eyes and nuzzles back into Takashi’s chest, exploiting the tender moment for what it’s worth until they have to face the universe as Paladins again. If he could just stop time to enjoy this a little bit longer.

* * *

It takes one of Allura’s portals to get to the planet of their next mission. Aegonoxa is small, only about the size of earth’s moon, but packed with minerals and ores that are valuable for the Galra.

The surface of the planet is covered in grey rocks and the few buildings the Galra build on there. The air is breathable for most alien races, but the hard living environment has left it uninhibited for at least a few thousand years. That is until the Galra arrived with their mining slaves about a year ago.

The rebels stationed a few troops soon after the Galra, but with Haggar’s reign and the splintered Galran forces they weren’t able to do much else than spy on the mines and workers and wait for an opening. That opening came a few days ago, and when Voltron promised their help the leader of the rebellion fraction began their plan.

Shiro is scanning the data the rebels have provided them for the fourth time. He can see the glances Lance is shooting him every now and them but chooses to ignore them as long as he doesn’t speak up.

Yes, he is nervous. And yes, he knows that Lance knows that. 

A sigh leaves his lips and he set the tablet on Red’s console. Lance gives him another look, but it seems more amused that concerned. 

Shiro can’t hide his own smile, confused at his boyf- at Lance’s antics. “What’s so funny?”

“Come on, you know it,” Lance grins, and focusses back on the way around the Galran detectors. 

Shiro steps next to him, tries to focus on their way as well. He knows that Lance has got everything under control, and that the Red Lion won’t hesitate to step in if it needs to like it did many times before. Shiro can feel the blue eyes on him, so he bumps Lance’s shoulder with his hip, laughing along the little huff he gets in return. 

Lance activates Red’s auto-pilot and accepts the low rumble with a smile. He turns a bit in his seat and looks up at Shiro, the smile turning familiarly warm. Shiro has been on the receiving end enough times by now to know what Lance is about to say.

“We’ll be alright.” Lance carefully reaches for Shiro’s hand and intertwines their fingers. His movements are hesitant until Shiro reciprocates, and he squeezes his fingers reassuring. “I promise.”

Shiro forces out a breathless laugh. “How can you be so sure about that?”

Lance shrugs. “I don’t know…” His eyes wander over the console and the landscape outside, but his gaze is unfocussed, not really taking in anything. Red rumbles lowly, and Lance focus snaps back on Shiro as if he’d been given the answer. “Call it a feeling.”

Shiro gives him a warm smile. “Got to trust your instincts.” 

A smirk appears on Lance’s lips. “That’s what the Red paladin does, right?” 

Their little moment gets interrupted by an incoming call. The screen that plops up to their right shows the transmission code Matt has provided them from the rebel forces. Lance looks at him, then their intertwined fingers, and Shiro retreats his hand and crosses his arms over his chest before Lance accepts the call.

The face of an alien appears on the screen, a woman with short, dark green hair and greyish-blue skin. Not one of the races Shiro has encountered before, but definitely a rebel, clearly visible from her mismatched armor. 

“This is Thile, leader of the rebel force on Aegonoxa,” she says. Scanning them both with her sapient green eyes. “You are Voltron?”

“Yeah, well at least one-fifth of it,” Lance answers quickly. His hands twitch slightly on the control handles, a sign that he is nervous. “I’m Lance, the Red Paladin.”

“I’m Shiro, former Black Paladin,” he introduces himself. 

Thile scans the rest of the empty cockpit. “I suppose the rest is not coming.”

“No, our forces are stretched thin.” Shiro gives her a pointed look. “We’ll have to do.”

“I see.” She sighs while raising her hand, and four other rebels stand up to join Thile on the screen. “I’ll send you a safe location to land your ship, and troops to pick you up.” 

“Copy that,” Lance answers. 

They receive the coordinates just seconds after, and Thile ends the call with a nod. Red is still on auto-pilot, so Lance deactivates it while setting the course for Thile’s pick-up-point. They have to head north and should arrive in a few minutes. 

While Shiro is focused on the screen, Lance bumps him with his shoulder to get his attention. With a raised eyebrow Shiro looks at his confident grin, which gets broken by the glint of severity in his eyes. “Ready?”

* * *

Most of Aegonoxa’s surface is pretty plain and flat, with mountains popping up every now and then. Thile sent them coordinates to one of the higher mountains in the area, near the Galran base but far enough so that no radar could detect them. 

Lance parks Red, much to its dismay, under a stony cliff. It can’t be spotted from the air like that, but Red is not a big fan of hiding in the first place. Lance pets her console before leaving her for their ride to the rebel base, promising to be back soon. 

Red’s warm rumble follows him. 

Thile’s rebels have parked their transporter right in front of Red, not afraid of the beast at all. They are looking at it in awe instead, mouths open and eyes big. Lance can hear Takashi chuckle beside him and can’t hide his grin himself. The lions tend to have that effect on their allies, and it is never not funny.

The three rebels introduce themselves as Tjorn, Xilias and another name Lance can’t pronounce, or even remember, but it starts with something like Brom, so in his mind he calls him just that. Tjorn is the head of the little group, as well as the driver of the transporter, and he quickly shoos them into the ship, scanning the are surrounding them with his eyes and with a little radar right after to make sure that they stayed undetected. 

As soon as the coast is clear he hops into the driver’s seat, with Brom and Xilias standing around the chair and with crossed arms. Takashi and Lance take one of the benches in the back of the ship and watch the changing landscape. They drive through a small valley, hidden by large stones and overhangs, until entering a tunnel through a small alcove in wall. 

The tunnel appears to be part of a huge system. Their transporter passes so many junctions that Lance starts to ask himself if Tjorn really knows the way or if he’s just guessing which tunnel is the right one. They turn multiple times, use a left tunnel, then a right one, left, left, right, right, left. It’s so confusing that Lance starts to feel a bit dizzy.

After about ten minutes underground they finally reach what seems to be a huge cave, where about twenty other transporters are parked, and where they park their own. A small group of people is standing next to their parking spot, eyes wide and whispering to each other, but they scatter quickly when another figure arrives in the cave.

As Lance and Takashi exit the transporter behind Xilias and Brom, Thile is already standing at the end of the ramp. She looks at them with a serious expression, but there’s something in her eyes that makes Lance trust her immediately. She reminds him a bit of his abuela, a strong woman who has experienced a lot, but has never forgotten what matters in life. 

“Shiro, Lance.” Her voice is clear as she speaks, just like on the call earlier. 

Lance nods at her and follows Takashi down the ramp. With an outstretched hand Thile greets both of them. Lance barely wonders if this is a normal greeting for her race as well before remembering that Matt probably told her a few things about human behavior. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Thile,” Takashi starts after the handshake. “We hope that we can help you fight off the Galra on this planet.”

“I hope that as well,” Thile answers. “We plan for you to be the turning point in this whole operation.”

Someone clears their throat behind Thile. It’s the fourth alien that Lance saw on the screen earlier, a grey woman who barely reaches up to Lance’s shoulders. Her long arms are covered in vambraces with buttons and screens, something Pidge would probably die to get her hands on. 

“You already met a few of my strongest fighters, Tjorn, Xilias and Bromexthuleon,” Thile nods towards the guys behind them. “This is Ro, one of my best hack-“

Ro’s head jerks around. “Oy!”

“Your still not as quick as Olko, so you don’t get to be called _the_ best,” Thile declares with a roll of her eyes. She lets Ro murmur a few words, her smile turning affectionate, making Lance assume they have known each other for longer than the few months the rebels are on this planet now. 

Lance shares a knowing look with Takashi, before they both force down their little smiles again. Takashi takes half a step towards Thile to get her focus back on the mission. 

“Do you have a room where we can discuss a plan for the operation?”

“Sure,” Thile nods. She makes a gesture to follow her, so Lance and Takashi do just that. The rest of the small group follows as well, only little people stay behind in the cave to finish what they were doing in the first place. 

Thile guides them through another tunnel, much smaller than the ones they used with the transporter. The walls are rough, only the ground nice and smooth so it’s easy to walk on. Lance suspects that these are old mining tunnels, maybe even from previous civilization. Coran couldn’t give them any information about the people that lived here before, and neither Matt or one of the rebels could find out anything about the ancient history of the planet. 

The small tunnel splits up into multiple direction, leaving Lance confused again. He figures he just has to trust Thile and the rest of the rebels and hopes that he can quickly leave this planet after their mission. He prefers the open sky over being stuck in an enormous tunnel system. 

Takashi tries to do some small-talk with Thile, asking about the tunnels and the planet, how long they have been here, etcetera. Usually Lance is interested in stuff like this as well, but today he is just content to stay a step behind them and let his mind wander. 

This confident feeling from before hasn’t left him yet, and he isn’t sure why. Maybe Red is finally starting to rub off on him, or his instincts are trying to tell him something he can’t decipher. Anyway, he sure is glad that the feeling is a positive one, not something frightening or bad. 

The next tunnel they pass is finally the last one to their destination, and after a few steps Lance and Takashi find themselves in a big room with a few tables, chairs, and a big windowfront which gives them a great view over the valley. 

“This is our meeting room. The control center is just a few steps down the tunnel,” Thile explains while taking a seat at the far end of the table. She motions for Lance and Takashi to sit next to her.

Ro follows them with a small tablet in her hand. The windows in the room dim down, and multiple screens with maps, battle strategies and other data appear on it. Lance can make out the location of Red on the screen, the sight of the cliff familiar from above. It’s hidden pretty close to the Galran base, with enough high terrain around him to have a clear view on the buildings without getting spotted immediately. 

The plan for the operation is pretty simple as well but consists of multiple steps that need to be accomplished for it to work. Half of the points are already crossed out, such as scouting, calculating the general timetable of the slaves and Galran guards, marking routes that will get them all to safety quickly. 

It seems like a pretty solid plan, the only thing missing is a weapon or force that overpowers the battle ships and any support the Galra might send from nearby battle cruisers. But with the paladin’s arrival they finally have a ship and two capable fighters that mark the turning point. 

Tjorn places himself next to the screens, just like Veronica does whenever she walks the team through her data. The familiar sight makes Lance smile a bit, and with a look at Takashi he knows that they are thinking the same. 

A few more people join them in the meeting room. Tjorn lets them settle for a few moments before he clears his throat to get everyone’s attention. The room quietens down, and he starts the briefing. 

“The Galran mining base consists of the work tower in the middle with multiple living quarters surrounding it.” He zooms into the complex building in the center. “The tower has two part, one is underground, where they mine the ores and metals of this planet. The part above the ground is used to process what they mine and to research new weapons. Everything is powered by an energy core, much like a Balmeran crystal, that is located one level below the surface.”

Thile speaks next. “Our plan is simple: turn of the energy core, infiltrate the tower, get the slaves out undetected and make sure that the Galra don’t get off the planet in the battle that follows as soon as the slaves are safe.” She stands up and joins Tjorn on the other side of the screens. “The plan is based on the rebels we have stationed in the tunnel near the base to take over the core room. My second-in-command acts as a leader for that group. They can hack the whole base from there, as well as manipulate the energy source so that the Galran sentries are useless.”

Shiro hums next to him, leaning back in his chair to cross his arms. “Without the sentries it will be easier to overpower the Galra, but we can’t risk the safety of the slaves in the mines.”

“The slaves are all stationed in the tower. Most of them should be in the upper levels right now, only little in the actual mines and the living quarters around it.”

Lance gives Thile a confused look. “Why are they not in the mines?”

“The Galra have sentries work there, because the metal they harbor can poison living beings with its emission, and they need the slaves for other works.” 

“Well, that’s makes it easier for us I guess,” Lance murmurs.

“It does indeed,” Thile agrees. “But our plan doesn’t include you two yet. We need the Red lion to guarantee the slaves’ safety.”

Lance studies the plans on the screen while taking a moment to think of the best action here. “It would be best if I stay near my lion, in case we need it,” he concludes. “Shiro can help you rescue the people in the tower. I can scout from afar, lock on to Shiro’s suit and track you, watch out for guards and other obstacles.”

Takashi gives him a look. Lance knows that he is not too happy about separating, but they need to focus on the mission and leave their comfort zone for a while. Lance nudges Takashi’s knee under the table while trying to tell him his thoughts through his eyes. 

Takashi sighs silently, accepting Lance’s plan with a nod. 

Thile takes the tablet from Ro and draws the addition of their plan into the map. She ponders for a few seconds before she continues. “If it comes down to it, would you and your lion be able to battle off their fighter ships?”

Lance shrugs. “Depends on their formation. They don’t have a battle cruiser stationed near the planet, and I guess they won’t use cargo ships against Red. If they all come all at once they can easily overpower me, but I won’t have a problem if they come one after another.”

A few pictures of the top of the tower show up, and Tjorn steps closer to the screen as he explains. “Their harbor is small. If our hacker manages to take over a few of the gates that lead the ships outside, they could only manage to lift off one, maybe two at a time.”

“Yeah,” Lance nods, “I can handle that.” 

The tense atmosphere in the room definitely brightens as Lance says the last words. The fighter ships were the biggest problem in the whole operation, but now the rebels finally have a plan and the means to counter them.

“Very well, that’s all.” Thile looks through the room. “Any questions?”

The room stays quiet. After a few seconds Thile stands up, her head held high and determination glowing in her eyes. “All troops on standby then. I will head towards the control center to explain the plan to our second team. We will head out in one varga.”

* * *

After Thile left, the rest of the rebels started preparing for the mission. Tjorn offered them to wait near the transporter for them, but Lance preferred to wait in the meeting room for now, so Tjorn leaves them with the promise to get them before the operation starts.

That was almost thirty minutes ago. Shiro uses the time to look over the plan again, remember the location of each group and look for anything they might have forgotten. Lance had joined him for the first few minutes before sitting back in his chair and playing with his phone.

“Don’t tell me your getting nervous now?” 

Shiro gets jerked out of his thoughts by Lance comment. He lifts his eyes from the ground and meets Lance’s, the concern in them not vanishing even though Lance smiles at him teasingly. 

“What do you mean?” 

Lance snorts and gives him a pointed look. “You started bouncing your leg like ten minutes ago, and you have this cute little frown that will give you wrinkles before you’re thirty.”

Shiro still his leg immediately, getting another laugh from Lance. He rubs his hand over his face, trying to get his mouth and eyebrows into a neutral position so Lance can’t read him like an open book. Although, after all this time he is sure that Lance will be able to read him no matter what face he makes. 

Lance nudges his hand away from his face and gives him a sincere smile this time. 

“Takashi, we’ll be fine,” he insists. 

“Yeah, yeah I know. It’s just-“ 

Shiro gets up and walks a few steps towards the window. The screens are still darkening the glass, so he can’t really look outside. He concentrates on his reflection instead, and on Lance as he approaches him slowly. 

“What is it?” Lance asks softly.

“I don’t know,” he confesses. “I think I have one of those feelings as well, and it’s making me uneasy.”

Lance raises an eyebrow. “Is it a bad feeling?”

“No,” Shiro sighs. “I don’t think so.”

“Then you’re basically worrying about nothing?” Lance chuckles. 

Shiro should be offended by that, but deep inside he knows Lance is right. He turns around and takes a long look at him. Takes in Lance’s warm smile, his open stance, the softness in his eyes. Takes in how Lance looks at him, like Shiro is something precious, something important to him. 

After all that has happened, Shiro is glad that he has someone who feels that way. And he knows that he is starting to feel the same… again. 

Shiro takes a step forward and embraces Lance into his arms. Hugs him tightly and enjoys the warmth of Lance arms wrapping around his back. He sighs, feel the weight lift from his shoulders and his body and mind calm down. 

“I guess I’m overthinking,” Shiro admits quietly. 

He can feel Lance hum into his neck, his soft breath tickling his skin. Shiro uses their hug and turns his head a bit, his cheek brushing over soft, brown locks before his lips meet Lance’s temple. He takes a few seconds to savor this moment. “I’m glad I have you here with me.”

“Paladins!” 

Lance jumps slightly in his arms, and Shiro lets him step back before Tjorn enters the room. There is a sweet blush on his cheeks, and Lance gives him a shy smile before moving his attention away. 

Tjorn eyes them for a moment. “Sorry, for the interruption.”

“No, uh- you didn’t-“ Lance stammers quietly. 

The sight is too cute. A flustered Lance is something Shiro hasn’t seen in quite a while, especially not with him being the cause. “Don’t worry about it,” he says to Tjorn with a laugh. 

Tjorn nods at them and moves a bit into the room, stopping a few steps before them. “It’s time to move out,” he starts, and turns his focus on Lance. “I’ll take you to your lion before we head towards the Galran base.”

“Alright, let’s go then,” Lance answers, the smile on his face vanishing as the situation gets serious. 

Lance looks at him for a second and takes his hand to squeeze it tightly. His confidence is back in place, shoulders square and head held high. Lance gives him another soft smile, another squeeze before separating. “See you later, Takashi.”

* * *

Tjorn drops him off where they left Red a few hours ago. He also shows Lance how to get to the spot on the mountain nearby where he has a great view over the whole Galran base. Lance thanks him before he’s left alone, Tjorn hurrying back to the base to regroup with the rest of Thile’s rebels. 

The spot is barren, only grey sand and dust and a few boulders around him. It’s pretty much perfect for his part in the operation, and Lance hopes that everything goes to plan, and he can just stay here for the next few hours and watch the rebels do their work. 

With a grunt he sits on the ground, next to a stone that is about knee-high, takes his bayard and transforms it into his sniper rifle. Lance positions himself, shuffles a bit until he finds a comfy spot and rests his weapon and arms on the stone which provides the perfect ledge for him.

If only all sniper spots could be as perfect as this one. 

With a chuckle he starts observing the Galra base from his spot, makes himself familiar with the layout of the tower and surrounding quarters from his point of view and watches a few patrols walk through the small paths between buildings. They move just like the rebel’s data said, giving Lance a good feeling about the overall plan. 

Red purrs in his head, the low sound vibrating through his body, even though he is a few hundred feet away from it. Lance smiles in its direction, taking a second to watch it stand proudly under the cliff before getting back on his observation. 

His intercom crack to life, and he can hear Thile and Takashi speak to a few rebels before addressing him. “Lance, are you in position?”

“Ready to go,” he answers, his voice low. Even though it should be impossible for the Galra to hear him from this distance, it feels wrong to not speak quietly in this part of the operation. 

“We are moving out,” Thile says. 

“Copy that.”

Lance can faintly hear a few ships starting up over the coms and some commands being shouted by rebels standing nearby. He can practically feel their spirit of optimism, their eagerness to finally get the mission started. For Lance it’s a familiar feeling by now. 

He patiently waits for the troops to appear on his screen. Lance knows from which direction Thile and the rest will arrive and observes the path and it’s surrounding carefully. The Galra still move according to plan, and soon Lance spots the rebels as they hide the ships behind big boulders and rocks. 

They leave their ships behind to get to the tower by foot. The ships would be easily spotted by Galra, so they have no choice. Thile splits the rebels into three groups, each about twenty people, and they slowly make their way towards the center. 

Lance holds his breath every time one of the groups gets almost discovered, guides them around some unexpected hindrances whenever needed and watches their back from afar. 

It feels like he can breathe again when all three groups make it safely to the tower. There are less Galra inside the building, and the way up to the slaves pretty easy. 

Lance reminds himself of the next step of the plan. The second group of rebels should be by the energy core by now, preparing everything so they can shut down the energy and hack into the system to get access to the whole tower. 

Through his rifle scope Lance see the rebels take position. They need to fend of the Galran soldiers guarding the slaves as soon as the power cuts off and the sentries shut down. They move around in small groups, gather at certain safe spots Thile has marked on their maps beforehand.

When everyone is in position, Thile starts the countdown to attack. Lance can see Takashi prepare his arm for the fight, can hear him take a deep breath other the intercoms right before the countdown hits zero. 

Right on time, the power goes out. 

Lance can see Takashi and a few rebels around him jump out of their hiding spots and attack the soldiers. One after another goes down, not a single Galra manages to fire a shot before their head hits the ground. Right as the last of them falls, the emergency power turns on, and the locks on the slaves working cells open. 

Seems like the second group has successfully hacked the system. Around the team almost all doors shut, leaving a single hallway open for the slaves to run. Thile shouts commands at her rebels, starts guiding the people through the open hallway, down the tower towards an unguarded exit. 

The next step of the plan consists of the remaining Galran soldiers treating the power outage like protocol by sending someone to the core room and wait for that person to fix the problem. What they should not to is close in on the rebel’s position as quick as they are doing now, with the rebel’s evacuation route as their target.

Lance does a double take on his scans before alarming the group. “Guys? There is movement.”

The sound of shots echoes over the coms. Lance focusses on Takashi’s hunched figure, Thile and a few rebels around him. It seems like they are hiding behind a low wall or some boxes, firing at the Galra in front of them. 

“We’ve been discovered,” Thile grunts lowly, focusing on the fight. 

Lance jumps to his feet, bayard transforming into its standby mode while he runs down the mountain. “I’ll get Red,” he pants into the coms, receiving confirmation from Thile and Takashi. 

There are a few moments of silence between the shots now, until it dies down completely. Lance stops in his tracks when he can’t hear anything over the com for a moment, panic flooding his body. 

“Guys?”

Takashi answers first. “We’re okay.”

“We can’t lead the slaves through the quarters outside anymore,” Thile interrupts him. “The ships could detect us easily, and even if Lance manages to buy us some time, he can’t ensure to not hit any of us in the heat of the fight.”

Red is already waiting for him when Lance arrives at its paws. “What about the tunnels?” he asks distantly, focusing on changing the plan and starting up the lion at the same time. “The other group managed to get into the tower through them.”

Thile is quiet for a second, pondering about the option. “The way is much longer, it takes some time to get everyone down there.”

“I will make the Galra focus on me, that should buy you enough time.” It’s risky, and both Lance and Takashi know that. 

“Lance-“ 

“Don’t worry,” Lance interrupts Takashi before he can even finish the thought. “Red will keep me safe.” Red stands up with a low rumble, and Lance guides it carefully away from the cliff. Only when he’s sure that Red won’t hit any of the walls around them, he starts up all its power. 

Lance takes a deep breath, forces a smile on his face. “Make sure to stay safe as well, yeah?”

He knows that Takashi is smiling as well. Lance imagines the soft, little quirk of his lips that he only shows when their alone. 

Takashi sighs. “I wi-“ 

A nasty crack sounds through the coms, louds enough to make Lance’s ears ring and forces him to rip off his helmet from his head. It takes him a second to realize what that sound was. A few screens pop up above Red’s console, showing the explosion at higher part of the tower, right where Takashi should be right now. 

Lance switches over the coms of Red, only manages to hear a few cracks before it goes completely silent. No sound, not even static. 

Panic wells up inside him, all the good feelings from before washed away by pictures and sound of the explosion. 

“Takashi?”

* * *

A huge explosion above them draws their attention from the ongoing fight for a moment, but soon the unrelenting sound of shooting continues. A few aftershocks shatter through his body, but he pays them no mind as he zeroes in on his next target and takes a clear shot. 

He pants with exhaustion. Even though the fight has only started a few minutes ago, he can already feel his energy draining from his body. The way towards the energy core has been tiring, his whole crew is panting around him, and he doesn’t know how long they can hold this stand. 

“Olko, what was that?” he shouts, eyes not leaving the enemy in front of him. 

His hacker grunts in response and shifts to the side when a shot almost hits him. It’s a mystery how he can be so unfazed by the action going on around him, but then again, it’s a blessing that he’s able to stay focused on his task.

His attention snaps back on his crew as one of the fighters takes a hit. He goes down with a scream, a second man on his side before he can hit the floor. One look over the battlefield is enough to single out the Galra that shot him. The alien is too distracted by his little victory, takes cover too late, is down in less than five seconds after hitting his man. 

A whimper from his right signalizes that the fighter is alive for now. He takes a deep breath and tries to swallow down the relief he’s feeling at that sound. They still have to fight, have to wait until Thile and her crew get the slaves to safety, have to get to safety themselves before he can allow himself to feel relief. 

Another aftershock lets the high ceiling crumble. A few pebbles fall down, hitting their helmets and dusting their mismatched rebel uniforms. He can feel the scars on his face burning, even though nothing but sweat is touching the delicate skin. It lets him focus on the fight, on his surroundings, of the consequences if they fail. 

“Olko!” he tries again.

“I don’t know, and I can’t reach Thile. The explosion has disrupted all signals.” His slim fingers tap over the little screen on his wrist, symbols and numbers vanishing as soon as they appear, too quick for any normal person to comprehend. For any human at least.

Another grunt, another shot, another screen popping up. “They’re on their way down.”

He groans internally. “That means they are not safe yet.” The metal box he’s hiding behind takes one hit after another, the force of the shots pressing it against his back. There are not many Galra left, just enough to keep his group occupied, just enough to be dangerous to them.

A glimpse around tells him that they are at least not outnumbered, even though they already had some heavy losses on their side. They just need an opening, something to take out the rest without jeopardizing the mission, or the safety of the rest of his group. 

A beast’s roar rock his core and brings the fight to another halt. Only this time it stays quiet. 

“What?”

The sound of receding footsteps come next. He looks around, catches the equal confused glances of his teammates before slowly glancing over the edge of the box. 

“…what?”

All he manages to see is the back of the last two Galra running through the hallway and vanishing around a corner. They’re left alone in the core room, no enemy for them to fight. 

He turns towards Olko, who has stopped his furious typing at looks at the ceiling in awe instead, as if the top of the room can answer all his questions. 

Another roar snaps him out of his stare, and another screen appears next to the first two. A blurry transmission from one of the cameras outside shows a robotic lion fighting- no, totally annihilating the few Galra ships in the sky, taking out every single thing the Galra are throwing at it. 

“I guess that’s the Voltron lion Thile kept talking about,” Olko murmurs after a second.

The rest of the group steps closer to take a look at the events outside, cheering with every ship the lion manages to take out. It takes a few shots with its tail, hitting the enemy with ease before flying a few rounds near the base. 

It takes a while for the camera to focus on the lion. Only when the explosions and shots come to a stop for a second, he finally manages to take a closer look, to make out the color of the beasts.

“We should go help Thile,” one of his fighters suggests, animating the rest of the group to scramble to their feet and get back into position. 

Olko separates the device on his wrist from the Galran computer and gets to his feet as well. He faces him with one of his usual frowns, but the excited glint in his eyes tell a whole different story. Olko knows him better than anyone else in his group, their time shared as Galran slaves and later as rebels left them the ability to read each other without words, even with the disadvantage of different species. 

Olko steps closer to pat his shoulder a few times, jerking him out of his thoughts while dragging him along with the others. A smirk appears on his wrinkled face. “Wasn’t the red one your mate?”

“Yeah,” he sighs disbelieving. “One of them.” 

Olko hums and catches the attention of the rest of the team. “Then let’s hurry.”

* * *

“Takashi!”

Another ship deploys heavy fire on him, making it impossible for Lance to get near the base, near Takashi.

“Dammit!” he grunts, yanking on Red’s controls to dodge two ships just in time. They crash into each other behind him but get replaced immediately by more fighters. 

Anger wells up inside him, mixed together with frustration, despair… and fear. So much fear. Red answers accordingly, roaring loudly as it takes in all of Lance’s emotions, shares them, redoubles them, uses them to charge up it’s tail canon and shoot the next wave of enemy ships. 

Two more go down, the explosion racking through the cockpit, thrumming through his body. Lance pays them no mind. He scans the area around him, shots whenever he sees the enemy emerging from the ruins of the base or the docks on the tower, never misses a single shot. 

His firepower seems to be enough to get him a few seconds to breath, and he rounds one of the lower buildings before landing Red on a cliff nearby. 

“Takashi, can you hear me?” he tries again, his voice wavering slightly. He swallows the lump that starts to form in his throat and tries again. “Takashi! Thile, anyone! Do you copy?”

The com buzzes with static noises. Nothing else. 

Lance takes a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves. Red’s reassurance rumbles through his whole body, reminding him of all the other bad situations they have managed to get out of before. Hell, Takashi defeated Sendak on top a giant spacecraft falling from the sky; the few explosions should mean nothing to him.

Should.

On his right a screen with several red dots plops up, signaling that his short break is over. More enemy ships are approaching him, but Lance is confident that Red and him can take them out just fine. They have to keep the focus away from the rebels, have to make sure that the tower and the surrounding buildings stay intact long enough for Takashi to get out. 

“Let’s do this!” Lance shouts. 

Red roars affirming, locking on the next target.

* * *

The ground shakes with every step they make. A few people got hit by the explosion and the following destruction, but most of them are fine, and keep on moving towards the lower levels. 

Shiro grunts in exhaustion as he and a few rebels force one of the doors that leads to the tunnels open. The persistent ringing in his ears hasn’t dimmed down yet, and he can hardly make out what Thile shouts a few feet behind him. 

It takes a while for the ringing to stop, only to be replaced by the static noises of the coms. Shiro carefully touches his helm, tries to activate change the frequency of the communicator to reach the Red lion outside. 

“Lance, do you copy?”

Nothing. 

Shiro sighs frustrated. He tries to tell himself that Lance is fine, that he is with his lion and that Red will keep him safe, even if he has to fight a small Galra fleet all by himself. 

“I can’t contact my rebels either.” Thile steps through the open door, making sure that no Galra are waiting for them behind it before waving Tjorn and the slaves through. “That explosion must have done something to interfere with our connections.”

“Lance will keep the Galran ships occupied as long as possible,” Shiro murmurs. “He knows the plan. Keeping them away from the buildings is the only thing he can do right now.”

He follows Thile down the hallway, rounding the group of slaves when they reach the next door they have to open manually. Since the second group didn’t get to hear about the change of plans, they haven’t had the chance to clear them a new route through the building, which slows Thile’s group down immensely. But there is nothing they can do about it but keep on moving. 

The next door opens, and after making sure that there is no Galra behind it they continue on their way. Thile tries to contact the second group a few more times, but just like Shiro’s coms, the end of the line stays silent. 

“The rest of the rebels used the tunnels to get in,” she huffs after a while. “If they manage to get out of the core room, chances are high that we will meet them down there.”

Shiro nods absentminded, trying to remember the general layout of the building and their way ahead. He hopes that Thile and the rest of the rebels can give him more information when they make it out of the tower. “Then all we can do is get these people to the tunnels.”

Another aftershock rumbles under their feet, but it’s so faint that Shiro believes it’s the last one. The walls around them are still holding the tower intact, but no one know for how long, and how the path ahead got affected by the explosion. 

Shiro has to step through lots of dust and around boulders and pillars, the slaves panting around him, just as much as some of the trained rebels by now. He knows that they are already at ground level, they just have to get to the entrance of the tunnels to be at least out of the danger zone of the Galra. 

He knows that he shouldn’t think that way, but he is glad that Lance is keeping the focus of the Galra on him, making their way a lot easier. He can’t imagine how long it would take to fight of an entire armada of Galran soldiers while protecting the slaves at the same time; an impossible task if you ask him. He just hopes that the rebels did a good job with the bay doors and make Lance’s fight a little bit easier. 

Gosh, he wants to see him again. 

A wave jerks him out of his thoughts. Shiro turns his head towards Thile, realizing that his hand is at his communicator again, trying to find another frequency that gets him through. He lowers his hand and tries to focus the path instead. 

“I’m sure your mate is fine,” Thile says, the sincerity in her voice almost distracting Shiro from what she just implied.

“My mate?”

Thile crooks her head, and for a second, she looks years younger than the war makes her appear. “Am I wrong about that?”

“No…” Shiro sighs, taking a second to think about it. In the end, the answer is obvious. He doesn’t know when his feelings for Lance started to well up again, or if they have always been there, just hidden. But what Thile is implying, what Lance and he could be, it feels good. 

It feels… 

“No, you’re right.”

“Good.” Thile nods towards the rest of the rebels that are ahead of them. They still have a long way left, and the fight outside hasn’t died down either. Shiro needs to concentrate on the mission before he can worry about his boyfriend or their relationship. 

“Let’s go.”

* * *

The number of incoming ships doesn’t falter. It doesn’t matter how many Lance manages to hit or destroy, they continue to come at him in a steady flow. Briefly he remembers to thank the rebels later for closing most of the bay doors, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to keep up. 

Lance can feel all of his tense muscles by now, his mind completely blank from anything but the enemy in front of him, and the tower he needs to keep them away from. Red pushes its conscience into Lance’s head from time to time to keep him steady, alarmed, and most importantly focused. 

His tail canon hits a ship before he swiftly forms the jaw blade to get the few ones that dare to get too close to him. He would laugh at the foolishness of the Galran soldiers if his and the lives of about two hundred innocent people were at stake. 

From the corner of his eye Lance can see a few clouds of dust form around the lower walls from the tower. His stomach sinks with every second he doesn’t hear from Takashi, or Thile, or literally anyone from the rebels to tell him they’re okay. Alive at least. 

One of the ships keeps close to Red like a persistent fly, too close for the tail canon to make an accurate shot, but far enough to keep a safe distance from the jaw blade. Lance can feel the annoyance it stirs deep in Red’s core, the feeling getting transferred to himself over the bond. 

He swipes the jaw blades around a few times, concentrates on the other ship near him until the first one makes a mistake, gets too close to Red’s paw and crashes right into its outstretched leg trying to dodge the quick swipe. The second one gets distracted long enough for Lance to get some distance between them and get a proper shot this time. 

Lance’s breath is labored by now. Pearls of sweat roll down his face and drop on the floor, and he feels a familiar sting in his eyes when the frustration about the fight threatens to spill over every now and then. He asks himself how much more ships wait for him in the bay, how much more soldiers he has to kill in order to keep Takashi safe, how much longer he has to keep on fighting before he can see him again. 

A warning growl pulls him back into the here and now. Lance curses himself as he realizes that he got dangerously close to the tower. Panic wells in his chest as he tries to find a place where he can keep on fighting without endangering anyone. The only two places that are far enough from the tower but still on the Galran fighters’ radar are either occupied by Thile’s ships or behind a mountain and therefore out of eyeshot from the tower. 

Reluctantly Lance chooses the last. He can’t risk Thile’s transporter being destroyed by crashing ships; they might still need it to get the slaves to safety. Not being able to see the crumbling tower and its surroundings is not ideal, but the option he can think about.

Red rumbles in agreement. They await the next few ships, lock on the target and keep them occupied for a few moments while luring them to the other direction. He shoots one last look to the tower before it disappears behind the mountain. 

“Takashi,” he whispers for no one but himself, “please be safe.”

* * *

Their way leads them back to the tunnels, the only safe way in and out of the building complex. A few explosions above them keep his team focused but at this point Adam doesn’t know if it’s a good or a bad thing.

Good, because the fight outside of the tunnel mean chances are high that there are no Galra left inside the tunnels.

Bad, because fights are usually a bad thing, and Adam doesn’t want to entertain the thought that people are dying out there. Especially since it could be his people. 

The man around him are groaning, almost as loud as the pillars and walls that are covered in little cracks. 

Adam shoots a look towards Olko, who is observing the path ahead of them with the same concern. Together they encourage the rest of the team to pick up the pace, help the injured by carrying the heavy weapons for them and keeping them close in case they need the extra firepower. 

“Adam?” one of his fighters calls out. Adam walks towards the man and nods for him to continue. “With the fight outside, Thile can’t use the quarters to evacuate the slaves.”

Adam gets the hint. “You think she will use the tunnels as well?”

“I think she has no other choice.”

“Then we might meet them along the way,” Adam concludes. He turns towards the rest of the group. “You heard that? We might meet Thile’s group and the slaves down here. We have to stay focused.” 

“Yeah, yeah, patience yields focus,” Olko mocks when Adam returns to his side. 

Adam chuckles at the familiarity of those words. He can’t remember how many times he heard Takashi preach it to Keith. The meaning stuck with Adam along the way, and he used it many times for his own teaching, just like he used it on his rebels. Much to Olko’s dismay, who had to listen to it too many times when they were still slaves. 

Adam is just about to respond with his own witty answer when another explosion makes the ground they’re standing on shake. His eyes move over the cracks on the wall and the few harmless minerals that are still stuck in there. “Hey Olko, you did keep the emission shields online, right?”

Olko shoots him a mean look, one of those ‘are you kidding me’ frowns that Keith used to send him whenever Adam asked him something school-related. 

“Of course, I did,” Olko grunts. “I am not a complete idiot.”

Adam laughs quietly next to him. He feels on the edge and drained at the same time, his mind occupied with the thoughts of his lover fighting outside and the rebels he needs to get to safety, but Olko always manages to lift his spirit. 

Even if it’s only like, half an inch. 

The group caries on, carefully walking through the tunnels towards one of the bigger junctions that should lead them to Thile, if she’s really down here. They pass a few smaller branches of tunnels that lead down the mines, or back to smaller, less important parts of the Galran tower. 

The big junction is empty, just a few abandoned boxes and mine cars standing around, but no slave or rebel to be seen. Adam command his people to carry on when the sound of footsteps interrupts him midsentence. 

He turns towards the sound, listening for any indication of who is coming towards them. First, he just hears faint thumping, but after a few more moments he can make out the metallic echo of Galran boots getting rapidly closer. 

“Incoming enemy!” 

His rebels scatter as soon as Adam speaks out the words, hiding behind the few metal boxes and carts, placing the injured soldiers in their middle and passing out weapons so everyone is covered. Then they wait for a few long tics for the enemy to round the corner. 

Adam sits right next to Olko at the side of a cart, peaking around the corner for any movements. The tunnels are dark, but the rebel’s technology lets him see just as much as the Galran cat-like eyes. He’s able to spot the first few soldiers without a problem and raises his hand to ready his troops. 

He waits a few more tics, feels the impatience of his fellow comrades in the air, but ignores it in favor of making the right choice here. If they fire too soon, they might only hit a few Galra before the rest takes cover. They might not even find out how many they are in the first place. 

The tunnel is long enough to make a safe decision. Adam glances to his right, making eye contact with one of the more experienced members of his team, and they nod in unison. Adam readies his weapon, finger on the trigger and taking a last, steady breath. 

“ATTACK!”

He and his rebels move from their cover in unison, firing at the first wave of soldiers and at the second, right after the first one hits the ground. The Galran soldiers in the back of the group run back towards the curve of the tunnel to cover, but the people in the front and middle stand no chance against the ambush. 

Adam can make out the size of the group, only about twenty people, a third of them already on the ground. But they are all Galra, no sentries or slaves, so their aim is better, and their armor and bodies made for battles like this. 

Thanks to the metal boxes and mining carts they hide behind, no one gets hit by the Galran blasters, but the little defense they have also immobilize them. The armor of the rebels is not strong enough to withstand a direct hit, so they can do nothing but keep on fighting from their positions, hoping that the Galra make a mistake and leave their hideout behind the corners of the tunnel long enough to take them down. 

Another explosion hits the tunnels, this one even bigger than the first few together. The soil rumbles beneath them, the walls crack around them and the ceiling above of them looses a wave of big stones and rubble, burying a few Galra under it. The rest of the Galra use the dust and boulders to advance on Adam’s rebels, getting a good few feet closer. 

The rebels are relatively safe at their point, since the ceiling in this part of the tunnel is fortified by metal beams and pillars. But Adam knows it’s only a matter of time before even the strongest metal breaks under the weight of about a hundred feet of soil and rock. 

There is nothing the rebels can do but keep on fighting. The sound of blasters is relentless, as well as the strengths that is slowly seeping out of Adam’s arms. With a quick look around, he sees that the rest of his fighters are starting to get tired too, the whole mission already too long and exhausting.

Not just physically, but mentally as well. The constant alertness the rebels have to provide, the fear of loosing this battle, or just one of their comrades to the Galra, the courage they have to muster up to risks their lives like this in the first way. 

The sound of footsteps is hardly distinguishable over the sound of the blasters, but one of the rebels hears it anyway, and informs Adam immediately. Dread coils in his stomach as he turns to where the rebel is pointing, right behind them, where they have nothing to cover themselves from the enemy. 

They are trapped.

Adam orders half of the rebels to turn around and ready their weapons towards the incoming enemy, the only thing they can do to protect their comrades’ backs. He readies his weapon himself, stepping a few inches closer to Olko, so he can to protects his friend in case he needs to. 

The footsteps get louder, even Adam’s less sensitive human ears can hear them by now. He looks through the visor of his weapon, aims right at the spot where the first Galran head is supposed to pop out from the corner, his breath calm while his heart goes crazy in his chest, beating of exhaustion and fear. 

He briefly thinks of Lance, who is fighting his own battle outside, trying his best to protect the rebels and slaves from the relentless Galran attacks. Adam can’t wait so see him, to wrap his arms around his lithe body, kiss his beautiful face over and over again. 

As soon as they get out of here. 

Shadows dancer over the walls in the tunnel, the dim light providing a minimum of visibility, a blessing and curse in its own way. Adam’s finger twitches at the trigger, ready to go whenever his brain tells him to. He takes a deep breath, another one, and sees the first head pop out from the corner. 

Adam needs a millisecond to recognize the figure emerging from the tunnel. He jerks his weapon down, turning frantic towards his rebels to keep them from firing.

“It’s Thile!” he screams, his voice almost hoarse, but his rebels hear him anyway. They lower their weapons with a relieved sigh before they quickly turn around to help the rest of the team out again.

The firing continues, the same sound as always, but it blends out while Adam signals for Thile and the slaves to crouch down, get as low as possible so no one gets hit by any stream shots from the Galra. 

Thile obliges, her commanding voice roaring over the fight, and the group of people behind her complies. They duck back behind the walls of the tunnel, barely able to get to safety before the Galra raise their fire and start targeting the much easier target. 

Adam sinks behind the cart, his thoughts going miles per minute while he thinks of what to do next. The tunnel system is too instable for them to stay here and wait out the fight, but the few remaining Galra have no qualm taking as many lives as possible while the rebels try to flee with the slaves. 

He eyes the rest of his fighters, all cowered behind the carts and metal boxes that provide the only wall between the Galra and the slaves, when an idea hits him. 

The boxes and carts are standing almost like a semicircle around the tunnel the Galra are hiding in. The space between each is irregular, but pretty small in the end, only a few feet between each of them. If they manage to push the carts and boxes together so they form a sturdy wall against the enemy’s fire, the slaves might be able to slip behind him into the tunnel to their left, towards the exit, and safety. 

Adam explains the plan to the rest of his rebels, awaits a confirmation from every single one of them before commencing. One of the rebels stays put to fire, while the rest of the people push the carts and boxes closer together. The shield forms in a matter of seconds, and when Adam’s sure that everyone is ready, he signals Thile to take the slaves and get out of here.

It takes a few moments until the first people emerge from their cover, Thile at the front of the group, crawling on the ground to the fire doesn’t hit them. Adam can make out Tjorn and Xilias among the group, glad that they made it as well. A few more rebels linger between the slaves, keeping the group together and calming anyone who is in too much of a panic to even move. 

Adam checks on the group behind him every now and then. Since the com system is still down, he has no way to communicate with anyone of Thile’s group besides signs, or even shouts if he has the time for it. But for now, he can just wait and watch everyone slowly crawling towards the exit. 

The remaining Galra are slowly starting to slip up more and more. They probably realized that the rebels are using the wall of boxes and carts to get the slaves out, and are panicking because there is nothing they can do than to fight, or retreat. 

And Galra never retreat. 

But its no use. The number or slaves is thinning, most of them already outside, only a few people left. Adam watches one of the Galra look for a better position, takes the shot before he can even think about it. He’s back to hiding behind the cart before the Galra can even hit the floor. 

Another look over his shoulder. Adam counts the number of slaves and rebels, twelve in total. Twelve more people to get out before Adam can even think of getting his own team into safety. 

He takes a deep breath, shares one look with Olko who is panting beside him. Seems like he isn’t the only one who can’t wait to leave this battle behind them. 

Then suddenly, from the corner of his eyes, Adam sees a tall person in a white and black armor. His face is covered by his helmet, but Adam has seen the videos of Voltron and its Paladins enough times to know he’s facing. 

Adam’s breath stocks, his heart misses a beat when he realizes who is in front of him. He can’t avert his eyes from the figure, mesmerized by every step, every movement from the Paladin in Black. 

Takashi is right behind the last slaves, hesitating to leave the rebels alone and stuck behind the carts. Adam watches him struggle, his head moving back towards his group, towards him. He knows that his own face is hidden by his mask. Takashi has no way of knowing that it’s him, but his gaze still lingers. 

A shot right above Adam’s head makes him flinch and jerk him out of his thoughts. There is no way he’s letting Takashi stay down here to help them. He quickly waves him off, signs to him to follow the slaves, get outside, stay safe. 

Takashi follows his order, is up and gone in moments. Adam takes a moment to breath before turning back towards the fight, his motivation to get out of here greater than ever.

* * *

It feels like days passed, even though the clock in Red’s screen says it’s only been fourty-five minutes since he lost contact to Takashi and Thile. 

Lance breaths through his mouth, eyes focused on the screen, dodging another wave of incoming ships. 

Just how much longer does he have to fight? 

Just how much more Galran ships does he have to shoot down until the enemy is finally defeated?

He briefly thinks back to the words Sendak used to say over and over again. 

Vrepit sa.

Victory, or death.

Lance knows that the Galra will not back down, will not stop fighting until they either overpower the rebels, or die trying.

“Díos!” Red takes a hit to its leg, another right into the chest when Lance doesn’t react quick enough. “Fuck!”

A few screens pop up, scanning the lion for any damages, but the thick armor managed to withstand the blaster. 

The last two ships crash together and leave a trail of smoke behind them as they crash into the ground. Lance takes a deep breath, unclenches his fingers from the controls and relaxes his jaw. Red rumbles soothingly around him, but he can feel through their bond that the lion is tired as well. 

Even though they tried not to, the fight got closer to the tower again. The few ships that Lance couldn’t stop from crashing into the ground left deep holes in the remaining quarters and the floor. Smoke raises from almost everywhere now, making the sky look dark grey and the navigation harder. 

Red sensors spot new ships arriving. A few circles pop up on the screen, signaling him that the Galra have send a new wave out. They still operate with a single hangar door, but the number of ships they have stowed inside the harbor must be enormous. As well as the number of Galra left in the tower to fight. 

Lance sends the hidden ships of the rebels are worried look. He knows that Thile said the way through the tunnels takes longer, but he has a feeling that they met some difficulties down there. His thoughts stray towards Takashi as he strikes the first Galran ship with his jaw blade.

Red roars when Lance uses its tail canon for the other two ships. The lion prefers close combat but knows that Lance wants to keep the enemy as far away as possible, so they don’t risk any hits that Lance might not be able to dodge on time. 

They are the main weapon of the rebels, their only hope when they make it out of the tunnels. Red and him need to stay safe, so they can protect the rebels and slaves from the Galra. 

Red understands that, its affirming roar vibrates through his body, making Lance smile. 

“Let’s go!” he shouts out.

Lance faces the next wave of ships, four this time, and takes them out one by one. Two ships fall to his tail canon, one to his jaw blade and the last one gets hit by Red’s paw and spirals towards the ground, crashing with a huge explosion. 

Lance is now almost back at the tower, rounding it a few times as he takes in his surroundings. The rebel’s ships are still safe, and most importantly undetected, as well as the passage Thile said they’ll come out from. 

The quarters around the tower are completely destroyed, and the tower itself crooked, the walls riddled with holes and cracks. A scene of destruction Lance knows is somewhat his fault. He wishes he they could have gotten the slaves out without a fight like this, but it doesn’t matter anymore. 

The only thing that matters to Lance is that Takashi comes back to him, safe and sound. 

The intercom cracks a few times, but it’s still only static that comes through. At least Lance knows that the rebels are getting closer towards the surface. By now Lance knows that even the Galra can’t communicate properly with each other either, the waves of incoming ships and the fight that erupts after they are airborne to uncoordinated to suggest something else. 

Another few cracks, another wave of static, until Lance can finally make out some scraps of conversation in between the noise. 

“…-et moving! Hu-… -o, go go-…”

Lance sighs with relief, dodging a few shots from incoming ships and turning around to take them down before calling out for the rebels. 

“Thile, Takashi? Can someone hear me?”

“-…ue …-adin… -at is your sta-…” Thile’s voice rings through the coms, still cracked and hardly understandable, but it’s her.

“Thile, I can’t hear you,” Lance says in between shots, “can you repeat that?”

It takes a few moments for Thile to answer this time, but when she speaks, the intercom is almost free of cracking and static noises, and Lance can hear her perfectly. 

“Blue paladin, what’s your status?”

“Red and I are fine,” Lance answerers quickly, trying not to get too distracted by the relief still flooding through him. “How about you?”

Lance takes the brief pause on Thile’s side to take two more ships down, destroying the current wave with almost no effort. The Galra are getting sloppy, and Lance has to concentrate to not to the same mistakes. 

He can hear Thile’s sharp voice ordering the slaves to hide behind the rocks and boulders next to the tunnel, and the rebels to cover them and keep them safe.

“We are fine. We met my second-in-command down there. Adam managed to buy us some time to get the slaves out,” Thile answers. “Your mate is here too.”

Lance next thought gets interrupted when he hears the familiar name. 

_Adam?_

He quickly shakes his head, focusing back on Thile’s commands. 

_It can’t be_ , he tells himself, reminds himself, and tries to squish the little spark of hope in his chest. _It’s a common name. It can’t be him._

“Lance!” Takashi’s voice echoes through the cockpit. “Lance, are you okay?”

“Takashi!” Lance cries out, tears forming in his eyes as another wave of relief hits him. He takes a shaky breath, steadies himself on Red’s controls, takes the lion’s comforting rumble and lets it sweep through his body. 

“I’m okay,” he answers finally, “and you?”

“I’m safe, so don’t worry about me.” He sounds exhausted, but overall fine. No serious strain in his voice, no excessively hard breathing or groaning suggesting any injuries. 

Lance looks over to the ships. Thile’s rebels are helping the slave hide behind the walls, their weapons pointing towards the tunnel they just left, but there’s no one in sight. Lance takes on the next few enemy ships; without the worry over Takashi, it’s easier to concentrate on the battle. 

Three more ships crash into the ground, far away from the slaves or the tower. Lance waits for the next wave, takes a few deep breaths, peels his eyes away from the little panel to his left, where a small window shows frequency of Takashi’s voice. 

He waits and waits, the adrenaline in his blood stretching the seconds thin, making him impatient and twitchy. But even as the clock hits one minute, then two and three, no enemy ship leaves the tower. 

Thile seems to realize the same. “Is it over?”

“I don’t know,” Lance answers sincerely. Carefully he flies closer to the tower, activates Red sensors to scan for any lifeform inside the building, but there is nothing. He scans the quarters and the surrounding area next, but nothing comes out of it. He only catches the signature of a few rebels at the end of the tunnel. 

“I don’t read any lifeform,” Lance answers after re-checking everything, a smile gracing his lips as he hears the rebels and slaves shout in relief after hearing the news from Thile. He rounds the tower two more times, just to be sure, before guiding Red towards the rebel’s ship. 

Just as he lands, the second group of rebels leave the tunnels. Some are injured and have to get carried by their comrades, but overall, they look fine. 

Lance pays them no mind, knows that Thile’s people will take care of them. Instead he concentrates on the figure waiting right next to the ships, walking a few steps towards Red’s nuzzle just as Lance touches down. 

Lance is up and out of the cockpit before Red can even open her mouth, stepping from one foot to another, helmet forgotten on his seat. He ducks out of Red’s jaw, the lion taking to long for his liking, and crashes right into Takashi’s chest. 

He can feel Takashi wrap his arms around him, the human one a little less careful than his prosthesis, both limps shaking a bit from exhaustion, but Lance is not different. He can hardly feel his hands anymore, the pain already faded to numbness, and his whole body is still twitching from the fight. 

A few people walk around them towards the ships of the rebels. The injured have to be brought back to the base to get treated, and the rest of the rebels deserve some food and rest. 

Lance ignores them for a little while longer, content to just stay in Takashi’s arms until the adrenalin leaves his body for good. He knows that his body will start to ache soon, the exhaustion already creeping up on him, but he doesn’t let go. 

Neither does Takashi. 

Takashi’s lips are moving over Lance’s temple, the soft touch leaving butterflies in his stomach. It has been years since Takashi has kissed him like this, and today it happened already two times. With the saved slaves and most rebels still alive after the battle, Lance feels more than blessed. 

The confident feeling from earlier pops up again.

In the distance someone shouts Lance’s name, the voice familiar, but Lance can’t place it. He opens his eyes, looks at Takashi, who heard it as well and is looking over the rebels and slaves in front of them. 

“Lance!” The voice is coming closer, getting louder as the person carves himself a path through the crowd. “Takashi!”

Takashi’s head jerks towards the voice, his eyes wide, lips parted in confusion. “It can’t be…” he whispers, his eyes moving towards Lance before he looks back towards the crowd. 

Lance follows his eyes, one thought tumbling over another, the familiarity of the voice clashing the name Thile said earlier. 

“Adam?” Lance whispers, voice raw and broken, the lump in his throat impossible to swallow. 

A person emerges from the crowd, his rebel armor covered in scratches and dust, a weapon his hand and a helmet in his other. He has a scar on the left side of his face, almost a perfect copy of the ones on Lance’s back, and his left eye has lost its green and faded to a dull grey instead. His hair is longer, his skin darker, and he has lost his glasses. But it’s him. 

It’s…

“Adam!” 

Lance tumbles out of Takashi’s hold, both of them now running towards their lost lover. Adam’s is smiling at them, his eyes full of disbelieve, but his arms stretched out wide, ready to catch his boyfriends as they leap into his chest.

Adam’s voice is hoarse as he whispers their names over and over again, a sweet sound Lance had thought he’d never hear again. 

“W-we thought y-you were dead!” Lance sobs into Adam’s shoulder, his hands moving over his back and side, fingers trembling more and more, especially when Adam places a kiss into his hair. 

“Now you know how that feels,” Adam laughs quietly, another sound Lance can’t hear enough. He laughs as well, just like Takashi does, the morbid joke forgiven over the happiness they are feeling. 

Takashi lifts his hand from Adam’s back and carefully touches his face, the scar-free side that’s covered in tears. He brushes a few drops away before gently pulling him forwards, their foreheads touching as they look each other in the eyes. 

“I’m so sorry, Adam,” Takashi whispers. 

His eyes mirror the pain he feels inside. Lance knows what Adam is about to say next but is still glad to hear it anyway. 

“I forgive you.” 

Adam moves forward, catches Takashi’s lips with his own. His arm wraps around Takashi’s neck to pull him closer, his other arm moving up to Lance’s head to comfort his crying boyfriend. 

Adam pulls back to place a kiss on Lance’s forehead next, humming into it just like he used to do years ago. Lance closes his eyes, a smile on his lips as he presses himself closer to his lovers. 

The world around them keeps on spinning, the rebels shouting commands, the slaves boarding the ships. Thile’s voice is a constant in the distance, but they ignore her for now, content to just stand here, together. 

Finally, together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! Did the ending surprise you?
> 
> I hope I could repair a few broken heart with this! I could never let my dear readers suffer from the same heartbreak I had after season 7! This is somewhat of a fix-it-fic after all!
> 
> * * *
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Comments mean the world to me, so please tell me what you think about this fic.
> 
> Get more info about me and my writing on [ my tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/wertdifferenz).

**Author's Note:**

> Tell me if you want to read more about this. I have some ideas for flashbacks from Adam's POV, Lance and Shiro having a long overdue talk, and of course the reunion.
> 
> EDIT: So, I started writing part/chapter 2 and decided that this work will have at least 3 chapters, maybe even 4.
> 
> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Comments mean the world to me, so please tell me what you think about this fic.
> 
> And in case you were wondering, here is [ my tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/wertdifferenz).


End file.
